Any other mums had development tests done on their children

[mrsb111213]

My son is 17 months old. He's currently having chromosome, genetic, and function tests done. He is unable to crawl (he commando shuffles), weight bare, sit himself up, and he says one word. I'm so worried. The pedestrians aren't giving us any idea of what the problem could be or what is causing this. He went undiagnosed with asthma for 12 months due to the incompetence of my GP and I thought that had slowed him down, but he's still not developing even though the asthma is now under control. The paediatrician has requested every test going. He has been referred for hearing tests which didn't go very well, his eye test showed up as him being on the lower scale of what is deemed normal. He's also been referred for physio as he has too much movement in his joints, which again, isn't normal for a baby of his age. My health visitor rang me up yesterday and told me I was under the children's development team and I'd get all the support I needed (I've suffered with severe depression in the past which is documented on my notes so they do keep an eye on me even though it's completely controlled with medication now). She said its like dealing a bereavement when you find out something like this! But, I haven't been told anything. I feel like they know something I don't and are gearing me up for bad news. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation?

I think what she means is that when a parent is told there may be something wrong with their child...not that they know what it is already. Sometimes genetic problems are very hard to diagnose and can take some time to get to the bottom of.

So by saying "like a bereavment" she means the loss of normality...not being able to just enjoy your son without worry...which will be very consuming for you.

Do you have a partner? Is he supportive?

I think it might be a good idea to post on Special Needs as there are a lot of Mums on there who have been through this and come out the other end and will know exactly what you are going through.x

Hi, thanks for your reply.
Yes I can see what you mean. Maybe I took it in the wrong context.
Yes, I'm married. He is supportive but we have different views on all this so it has caused a few arguments

I'm new on here so I was unsure on which category to post on. Thanks for the advice x

Hi mrs b

What your hv was very indelicately trying to do was empathise with how she imagines you feel.

Many of us who have had our children diagnosed as disabled go through a grieving process not entirely unlike that associated with bereavement.

You clearly recognise that something is nor quite right for your ds. Of course I can't reassure you the everything will be fine because u don't know the circumstances but I do know that you will adapt to whatever your sons needs turn out be.

I reccomend calling a charity called 'contact a family' they will match you with a family with similar experiences who are further along in their journey.