None of this is really my business, but I am worried about my dn

[manchestermummy]

I can't help it, and I would never say anything, but I am concerned about my 13 mo dn.

SIL broke up with her dp when dn was very tiny and now lives with MIL. Her xdp is horrible, and I have no doubt that things are very tough. SIL stopped working before dn was born (not sure why: she just decided she was no longer going to be working) and MIL is penniless. I am not sure how they are existing.

MIL is a very kind person but had her children in the 1970s and as such "does things differently". Her influence over SIL is considerable, and given that SIL doesn't really mix with other parents with young babies, she cannot see that some of the things she's doing are really not helpful.

Sound like enough of a pitch yet? Read on...

Dn still sleeps in a Moses basket downstairs at naptime. Because SIL cannot be bothered with taking her up. Dn is far too big for it and tries to wriggle out of it.

MIL believes the only safe place to change a happy is on a raised surface. Thatwould be fine if it was not for the fact that because dn isn't walking yet, sIL does not consider her to be mobile and will leave her on the dining table (where she is changed) unsupervised. This makes me very nervous and if I see that I do not go anywhere! Dn fell off a bed a few months ago when SIL was doing similar and ended up in A and E with a huge bump to the head. Quite why no-one has learned their lesson here is beyond me.

Dn spends hours and hours a day in a baby walker. She is crawling a bit and bum shuffling and I know that is normal at that age, but she is not bearing weight on her legs. Something most babies enjoy doing? She did start pulling up about 6 weeks ago but has since stopped. SiL is a bit concerned and I just said that maybe as she can get from a to b her own way she just doesn't see the need: my dd2never crawled properly because she saw no point to it.

MIL and SIL's diet is terrible. MIL genuinely believes that ready meals are better than home cooked food and that is all they eat. At 13 mo, dn is fed mainly on baby food pouches. There is no finger food as it "is a choking risk", "too messy" and dn "doesn't

Maybe so.

I would approach it from a helping dn way rather than a blaming her actions way though.

By the sounds of it, in my personal opinion of course, they have got to the point where they are endangering her safety and development, and so it needs reporting to the HV at least, if not SS.

Hours in a baby walker - stopping walking development.
Purees only - stopping feeding development
Changing on high surface and leaving unsupervised - physical endangerment
Lack of suitable place to sleep etc

Although - I dont put mine in a cot for naps - as they nap in slings (dd2 11 months currently happily asleep on my front) - but they are safe there and happy. A too small moses basket surely is a suffocation risk at least?

I agree Busty. They are doing a lot of things that are unhelpful for her development as well as downright bloody dangerous.

And OP, well done for not sticking your head in the sand about these issues and putting dangerous and lazy behaviour down to 'parenting style'. You obviously do genuinely want the best for this little girl so good for you.