selective mutism

[frankiebuns]

My ds is 4 and for the past year his speech at pre school has gotten worse and worse to.the point he won't or can't talk to the adults they criticised him about 6 months ago and that was the last straw. He is the noisiest and talkative kid at home but as soon as he's at school boom he's quiet he will talk to the kids but adults no which is affecting his school work as they cannot cross anything off for achievements he is a bright button and highly intellectual at home. I googled I know worse thing ever selective autism and it was like they had written down my son! His pre schools idea to solve the problem was to get angry with him which I think would be the worse possible thing to do. He is being referred on to the paedtrican but the wait is about 2 months is there a mum out there who can tell me this will be ok or any one with experience as I'm at my wits end!and any strategies to cope or handle.it Thank you in advance.

Ooh get him out of there! My DD had SM I now realise....she went to a terribly strict prep school from 3 and it was the worst place for her.

I moved her to state school in year 3 and she changed over the course of a year. Looking back, if she'd have displayed the symptoms in a state school they would have had her assessed.

Move him....change to a better preschool....now.

I worked with a little boy at preschool who was diagnosed with selective mutism aged 4.

Like your DS he was a very chatty and inquisitive little boy outside even if he saw his teachers out and about but in the classroom he was completely silent.

Our boy was referred to SALT who worked with him to develop techniques that he could use to keep calm and spoke about ways he could communicate non-verbally his progress reports and a brief outline of each session were passed to our manager in order for us to continue these techniques. We had a little flipbook containing pictures of things he may need to ask for (toilet, handwash, cup, toys etc) that he had access to at all times and we made a conscious effort to include him at circle time by asking group questions and asking him directly giving him a brief period to answer before moving on and thanking him for taking the time to listen.

As time went on he would say a few words every now and again whilst we were playing with him, it was like he relaxed and forgot where he was for a minute or 2, we didn't make a fuss but instead just chatted back and forth with him until he stopped.

The little boy is in primary 2 now and still takes a lot of coaxing to speak in class but he's much better than he was and will put his hand up to answer questions or call on the teacher sometimes :)

Your DS' preschool don't sound very supportive in this so I think you need to speak to them about this, they shouldn't be getting angry or criticizing a little boy who has anxieties around them and there is no reason they can't complete his achievements non-verbally unless they are specifically talking excercises.

Thankyou, he loves going to preschool but I think they are slightly frustrated with him. When we are out and someome he doesmt know or he vaguely knows asks him a question I answer for him and cover saying jes shy. He has always been shy around othrrs but think pre school making him say things and pushing the eating snacks was the last straw so they brought it on themselves and the bla,e him and me! Outside of school he is awesome chatty very musical and loving he loves his sister he loves helping out around the houze and refuses to take any pocket.money for it I had froends over for a coffee and the washing machine had finished he opemed the door got the washing basket and emptied the washing into it sorting out his clothes his sisters etc and she was shocked I was making him do it but I wasn't he loves it and he was chatting about it but outside in the big world he's silent

First, get him out of there. They clearly don[ have a clue what they are doing. What kind of pre-school is it? Within a school? Are they Ofsted graded?

Secondly, please seek professional advice, as you don't want it to get worst. You want to. Get his confidence up.

I have worked within a school where there was a little girl who wouldn't speak at school and there was a specific plan in place for her, all the staff was trained to support her. They even brought in a specially trained dog to 'listen' to her reading.

I am worried about some of the remarks you made (especially about the staff not being able to grade him because he is not talking). Fact is, a child should be evaluated at that age, they just need to observe him (they can observe him without him talking) and so what if he doesn't score high at the age of 4 FGS. He is only little.

And also, [please see a professional about this. Speak to your GP for a referral to a speech and language therapist. You might get some advice here which will be very useful and correct, but we don't know your child and don't have the qualifications to help (unless there is a SALT on the board). Good luck

my dc was similar.
however they were generally shy and didn't like to speak to adults apart from us parents.
we talked to the nursery and they said from observing he was fine with the children and speaking age appropriately with them. they then gave dc 121 attention each day for 20 min with a nursery worker dc really liked and dc improved massively.

now in primary they never shut up...

We are being refered to the paedtratician but the waiting time is 2 + months. They cross things off on a list and altough I say he does it at home he doesn't there. I have done some wow cards for him to say what he's been doing. All the kids apart from him are 'normal' so they are a bit perplexed what to do with him. I had a play day there yesterday and we made wraps he was silent when she asked him questions and she huffed and said sharply I'll take it as a yes then!

Rocket jam its a pre school in a church hall but highly reccomended by ofstead and best in area

I understand that it is a good pre-school but if they have never come across selective mutism they have probably not been trained and might handle it in a way that could potentially damage the child's confidence, which as you explain seems to be one of the problems. My DS has a speech disorder, and although he goes to a outstanding school, one of the staff (a teacher assistant) was very abrupt with him at the beginning of Reception and he refused to talk to her. I insisted that all staff that would get in contact with him be trained on how to talk to children with his speech disorder, including the dinner ladies. If I go by your initial post, they may be a very good pre-school but clearly they are not trained at dealing with a child with a speech problem. Otherwise, you will have to sit down with the manager and clearly make your point and ask them to work a specific strategy for your DS. Each pre-school/nursery has to have a SENCO (special educational needs coordinator).