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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I feel so sorry for my nearly 4 year old dd2

65 replies

Enid · 28/09/2006 10:07

as she is the friendliest child in the world - in fact a bit TOO friendly. She is obsessed with having friends and is so chatty and in your face that I think she gets on people's nerves - her constant chatting certainly irritates me at times.

She only has to meet a little girl once and thats it, they are her best friend, she draws them pictures and smuggles toys out to give to them.

Yesterday a little girl in the reception class at dd1's school refused to play with her (there is a small park next to dd1's school where all the kids go) and she was so devasted I have never heard her cry like it.

I don't know why I have bothered to post this really as I haven't really got ot the bottom of why it is such a big deal.

She told dh that it was all OK as another girl had said 'dd2, I will be your friend, come and play with me' (this wasn't true though )

We've had a few problems with nursery as it is attached to a private prep and the majority of children go there after the nursery and the mothers don't seem to include dd2 in playdates presumably as she is going to the state primary.

This is all so different to dd1 who isn't in the least bothered about friends and is so passive and of course this has made her massively popular.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PcCOD · 28/09/2006 10:28

prfb?

Original poster

Enid · 28/09/2006 10:28

but I think odd not to WANT your child to feck off with another child so you don't have to do it

OP posts:

Original poster

Enid · 28/09/2006 10:28

(prescious first born)

OP posts:

PcCOD · 28/09/2006 10:28

oh i see
she wante dto play wiht the girl.
oh god yes

Original poster

Enid · 28/09/2006 10:29

ooh I can't be doing with clever kids

dd1 is such a lovely mellow plodder

OP posts:

PcCOD · 28/09/2006 10:29

well get with it groovester

PcCOD · 28/09/2006 10:29

ok am off int o town
later dude

PinkTulips · 28/09/2006 10:30

i do tend to pull her away before she get too irritating but i don't want to stop her altogether as i don't think its right to teach her she must never say hi or be friendly iykwim. i love hat shes so friendly and all it would take it for people to say hi back and it makes her day. obviously shes alot younger than enid little girl though, i'm probably going to have to tackle it more as she gets older, but i still don't seethe harm in saying hallo.

and when its other kids i absolutely can not understand what the problem is!

Uwila · 28/09/2006 10:35

My DD is like this too. Whe I type on mumsnet on the weekend, she comes up, looks at the boden ad on the right. And wants to know when she can meet the kids in the ad because they are her friends. And I ave to explain that we don't know them, it's just a picture. And they aren't realy people. But, she STILL wants to know their names... oh how annoying... but cute.

Original poster

Enid · 28/09/2006 10:44

god we should get them all together

OP posts:

misdee · 28/09/2006 10:46

dd2 is the most socialable unsociable child i know. she doesnt get how to make friends, gets very boisterious and excitable around other children. she is totally mad when other kdis are about.

Uwila · 28/09/2006 10:55

Where do you live, Enid?

tortoiseshell · 28/09/2006 11:01

Enid, my dd would love your dd2 - she has virtually NO friends who are girls, as she mostly sees ds1's friends, and valiantly plays firemen, but when she does see a girl she is just SO happy to be able to play dolls.

That other child sounds a nightmare!

calebsmummy · 28/09/2006 13:41

Awww I'm feeling so sorry for your DD, Enid. poor little thing. What is wrong with a freindly child? I would much rather have a child who wanted to chat than one who hid behind it's mother's skirt!

DS2 (and DS1 for that matter) always goes over to make friends with other children at parks etc. He introduces himself as 'Superfrog' Some mothers get it, sadly others don't. I will happily say hello to any child who spoke to me, is it not rude to ignore them?

DS1 is now 12 and can talk the hind legs off a donkey, bless him, but he has great conversations with my friends, who all think he is fab and his friends mums adore him. He is very popular with every age! He is very bright too.

I think you will find this gets easier as she gets older. She will be seen as a much easier child to invite back for tea when she starts school as she will be a happy little thing.

Its sounds to me like your dd and my ds2 (nearly 4 too) would get on so well!!

imaginaryfriend · 29/09/2006 14:27

I think the best thing you can teach her is that sometimes other kids just don't want to do what she wants to. In the same way that adults might already be talking when she approaches. That way she won't get so hurt by it? Show her that it's not a rejection of her, give her an example of when you've wanted her to do something she hasn't wanted to, and say it's the same as that. No big deal.

My dd is very quiet and also suffers from the playground girly stuff but in a different way. She takes weeks of observing another little girl she likes the look of, chatting to me about her, then becoming such firm friends that it's bordering on the obsessive! If the friend then is off school or plays with somebody else she feels really rejected. It's awful to see. I try to do with her what I suggested for you, to let her know that other people aren't there just for her.

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