At wits end with 9year old DDs behaviour

[makemineaginandtonic]

Feel like I am stuck in ground hog day with my DD's behaviour and my reactions to it and would LOVE some ideas on how to break out!!!

Every day she blows up about something small (eg. I can't do the complicated hair style she wants because we need to leave for school). She calls me names like Idiot and Stupid and says she hates me, and is sometimes violent kicking things and slamming the door. Then I use sanctions like no ipad, no tv. She is very good about taking the consequences but it doesn't seem to make any difference to her future behaviour. The next day we have the same routine.

It is wearing me down and her rudeness is increasing. Today she threatened to call childline because I am a rubbish mum.

Anyone got any ideas? Am I over reacting? Is it ok to ignore this sort of behaviour? I want to get on top of things before the teenage years arrive!!

I'd make a pretend phone call to Parentline about her....

Sorry, that's not helpful. I'm not sure what I can suggest, I only have one child who's almost two.

When I was that age my mum would sit me down and tell me how what I had done made her feel.

Yep, my dd is same age & acting up too, although I wouldn't describe her behaviour as violent, but yes she shouts back & is increasingly moody to say the least.

I've kind of narrowed her behaviour down to a couple of things - or rather I think there could be a couple of factors contributing to her behaviour - girls at school - one day she's upset because so & so have said this to her, next day they are best mates, next day they've fallen out - its crazy, sometimes a group of girls may be mean to her, then the next day she says everyone is her friend! So I think there's a lot of unsettlement going on at the moment with the girls, which brings me to my next motive.

My dd approached me a couple of months ago complaining of a little lump behind one of her nipples. I checked it, googled it & spoke to my sister ( she has older kids) & 100% is the beginning of 'breast buds' - so I'm assuming its all the start of growing up, hormones taking place.

I think maybe try talking to your dd, see if things are ok at school. I must admit I wasn't expecting this moodiness/ tearfulness for another couple of years! And as for the words they use, well they probably get that from school & tv & surprisingly in books although aimed for children.

Try not to take it to heart, you're not a rubbish mum. I'm sure she feels like she wishes she hasn't said those things after. It may be a few hours after a telling off, but my dd either writes me a note to say sorry or comes & gives me a cuddle. You're not alone, we've a bumpy ride ahead & they aren't even teenagers yet!!!