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Hitting at nursery - how to solve at nursery/home?

2 replies

kkllww · 30/09/2014 18:40

My 2 yo son has been hitting other children at nursery for the past few weeks and the staff are now observing him & filling in a chart to try and find out what his triggers are as the behaviour seems to come out of the blue, ie not when he seems angry, having a tantrum etc.
He occasionally hits at home (normally during tantrums) and we deal with it by using a short time out and sternly saying 'no hitting'. This works quite well and he's usually ready to apologise after sitting in time out for 2 minutes. He has a lot more incidents of hitting at nursery.
However, the nursery have a policy of no time outs and not telling the child off by saying the behaviour is 'naughty' (I gather this is quite common for nurseries). Their way of dealing with him appears to me to almost reward him: they take him away from the other kids and a staff member stays with him - but he probably loves the 121 attention!
I'm prepared to try what they suggest as I obviously really want to fix the issue - so if they advise us to do the same thing we will. Just wondered if other ppl have had the same situation and how it was resolved?

OP posts:
ScouseBird8364 · 30/09/2014 20:01

I was about to post the same thread, about my just turned 4-year old and was told to sign a form today as he'd hit a girl. On the form it says they will observe his behaviour Sad I'm really worried as to what this means Sad Anyone??

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 30/09/2014 20:08

I don't have any advice on how to resolve this but it sounds like they are using what I believe is called 'time in' rather than 'time out' - at a guess I would say their intention is to validate your DC's feelings and try and discover why he has acted out. I totally get what you're saying about not knowing the trigger by the way, my DS's outbursts often seem to come out of the blue...but reading lots of gentle parenting websites means I know that when he's giving me a hard time, he's having a worse one! I know it might seem like they are 'rewarding' his bad behaviour but I think it's probably more a case of trying to figure out what's causing it. I'm a strong believer that children misbehave because they're trying to communicate something, I think it's great your DS's nursery recognise this rather than simply punishing him

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