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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Tempers about 2yr old eating in front of tv

18 replies

Stars66 · 27/09/2014 20:25

DP and I are having arguments about DD (2) eating in front of tv. It's a nono for me although I do it myself when alone but sometimes are will only eat when being distracted.
He has let her do it on many occasion and I will weather the tantrum about her not eating for ages and then eventually crack. The majority of our meals are sat together at the table, so she is totally used to eating there. It's more the meals when it is just her eating that end in the tantrums.
Should I pick my battles more carefully? I just don't want to start a bad habit.
Advice?

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Original poster

Stars66 · 27/09/2014 20:25

*she not are...

OP posts:

fredfredgeorgejnr · 27/09/2014 21:59

There's nothing inherently wrong with eating in front of the television, your DP thinks it's fine, you do it yourself, I don't really get why you're having the battle at all?

Eat your regular meals at a table, chat with each other, when you're eating on your own it's pretty depressing to do it staring into space, and a 2 year old can't read the paper.

Original poster

Stars66 · 27/09/2014 22:12

I don't leave her to sit alone... I sit with her and chat, or help her to eat. She only just turned 2, so food can still be messy. I just feel it's getting into a bad habit where she won't eat at the table. and all that about making a rod for your back etc

OP posts:

Parietal · 27/09/2014 22:27

depends how often. TV dinner once a week as a treat - no problem. TV dinner every night - not so good.

when my DDs were that age and ate before me, I made sure I had a cup of tea & a piece of fruit at the same time so they didn't feel they were eating alone.

TryingNotToLaugh · 27/09/2014 22:33

I'm a stickler for family meals around the table, but sometimes i let the kids eat on the couch.

If we're all a bit knackered, or want to watch a film together etc.

It's a big treat and happens maybe once a month. Make it clear it's only a special, now and again thing and it'll be fine.

ChippingInLatteLover · 27/09/2014 22:37

It might help 'right now' but as a long term thing it really doesn't, they just get distracted by it and meals drag on for hours. Say NO, it's short term pain for long term gain.

If she's not hungry, let her get down. Don't let meal times become a battle. She wont starve herself, even tots are good at choosing and eating good food, when they're hungry.

How you convince your DP though, that's another matter, but if you are a SAHM and he goes out to work then he just gets told as YOU are the one doing the majority of the mealtimes.

ChippingInLatteLover · 27/09/2014 22:38

There's a huge difference between a family choosing to have dinner in front of the TV sometimes and a toddler doing it every meal time.

nickelbabe · 27/09/2014 22:51

hmmm, i'm always torn oon this.
wwe don't use the dining table because it's used as a sewing room...
the only other place we have to eat is the floor infront of the telly.
we spread a towel on the floor to use as a "table" and generally keep the telly turned off whilst eating.

dd is 2+9 and she eats at the table nicely and properly when we're not at home

mandbaby · 30/09/2014 20:19

We ALWAYS eat at the table - no exceptions. However, we do have a TV in our kitchen/diner and usually it's turned on during mealtimes. Not always, but more often than not. However, if my boys (4.11 and 3.3) get too distracted, are taking to long to eat, or refuse to eat at all, then it gets turned off. Even though the TV is on, we still chat about our day. I've found that since they were babies, they're more likely to eat what's in front of them and try new things if they have something (the TV) to distract them slightly.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 30/09/2014 20:29

Sometimes DS eats in front of the TV. I would say about 10% of the time. Usually at the table though. If we are at the table then the TV is off. DS isn't fussed where he eats though.

5madthings · 30/09/2014 20:33

We eat at the table 99% of the time, it's nice to all sit down around the table, no distractions and chat etc. It's an important part of our day.

Every now and then we will order a take away and sit and watch a film whilst we eat, but the madthings see this as s real treat.

I certainly wouldn't want eating in front of tv to become the norm a d if it's something causing tantrums I would stop it altogether and then reintroduce it as a special treat at a later date.

Ragwort · 30/09/2014 20:41

Agree with 5madthings - we rarely eat in front of the tv although DS did tonight as Chelsea was playing - and if your DD is tantramming because she is not allowed to eat in front of tv then I would stop it totally.

Original poster

Stars66 · 30/09/2014 21:24

Thanks all.
Mostly she is fine, like today we had 2 meals at table together (she was at nursery for lunch), we had one potty break where she ran into living room and asked for cbeebies, but I said no and returned to table. She came back a minute later. I think the issue is her demanding it and testing me. I am sticking to my guns and saying no, and leaving her to it. I keep the tv off during the day unless we have been up very early when it's on for a bit before going out. I guess I just need to be consistent.

OP posts:

RoganJosh · 30/09/2014 21:27

I think you're right about consistency. Our rule is mess related. So, most meals are at the table, but toast before bed can be on the sofa. Ditto takeaway pizza and fish and chips.

Passmethecrisps · 30/09/2014 21:33

Funnily enough my almost 2 yo asked for the first time to have her dinner watching ITNG. I allowed it and she did ok and it was a calm dinner. I wouldn't like it every night though because of the mess.

Growing up we never ate at the table because we didn't have one through lack of space. We still ate together in the sitting room at meal times though and the important parts of table manners were learned.

If it is occasional I wouldn't worry about it. You know your child though and if constant fall outs are likely to be the outcome then best avoided.

Passmethecrisps · 30/09/2014 21:34

Actually, breakfast toast is always eaten on the sofa. Frankly I need the peace and quiet to get things done. Although dd has been known to come and sit herself at the table which usually means she wants milky cereal or baked beans!

superzero · 30/09/2014 22:02

Be consistent.

I've struggled with staying on the chair,fussiness ,food refusal and generally stressful mealtimes over the years (eldest is 5,have 3) but have never resorted to TV or iPads at the table.
Toddlers will try all sorts to get to you.
Be consistent,over time they get to know your rules and what is expected at the table.It's taken nearly 5 years to achieve pleasant family mealtimes with them agreeing to try new food,not running off after 5 minutes and asking if they can please leave the table and go and play.
So if you want no TV at the table,don't cave in for an easy life but show her what the rules are.I bet when she's 3 you'll hear her telling her toys/friends/dolls "No TV on at the table!"

Lovelydiscusfish · 30/09/2014 22:31

Personally, this wouldn't bother me too much. I'm lucky that dd is a pretty good eater, but if she wasn't, and the TV helped, I would certainly embrace that. I've never been one to want to make an ordeal about my dc's eating.
I have a number of friends who struggle with their eating now as adults (either too much or not enough) and they all, to a woman, put it down to pressure over eating as a child.
To me, how one eats (as a family, screens off, or otherwise) is not a big moral issue. Do what works for you all. And good luck

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