Is this normal 13yo behaviour or have I gone wrong somewhere?

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DS1 doesn't really cause me too many problems, he doesn't get in to trouble at school. doesn't torment his younger brother too much, is generally pleasant enough company but he is inconsiderate and does the bear minimum of everything.

e.g. he has had a rare detention this week because a 2 part worksheet was set for HW and he only did one section. He says that's what the teacher asked and that half the class got detention, so I'm prepared to believe there might have been some poor communication but if there was any doubt at all, why not just do both? Ii would have taken an extra 10 mins.

Last night the uniform for a club he goes to was on the line. I asked him to fetch it in, which he did but there was also one teatowel out. Which he left, along with the peg bag and he didn't shut the back door!

Everything is put off to the last minute and then done as quickly as he thinks he can get away with. He used to enjoy helping with things like cooking or gardening but has no interest at all these days.

Is it just because he's 13 or should I be doing/have done something to get him more interested? He seems (or thinks he is) happiest when doing nothing.

This isn't about screens because they are restricted and he still has no interest, even when time is up.

I think if leaving the peg bag out is a typical example of his misdemeanours, you've got yourself a pretty great 13yo!

Completely normal - they are very self centred and need sleep in the daytime and are hyper at night. Worry not - your ds sounds much more pleasant than the teenagers that live here I know are!

Sounds very similar to my nearly-13 DS. He will (eventually) do what he is told, but takes an age to do anything. He would certainly only do what I had asked - it just wouldn't enter his head to bring in the rest of the washing/bring out other peoples dirty dishes from the dining room etc. TBH I don't think he even notices such things.
Homework takes ages to settle to, and takes longer than required partly because he doesn't concentrate and partly because perversely he then wants to do a decent piece of work. Hasn't actually had a detention for missed HW since starting secondary - although probably partly because of our constant nagging.
Certainly little interest in doing anything such as cooking/gardening. If he has free time from schoolwork/organised activities it will be spent either playing games on his tablet/watching TV.
I think partly it is just how he is, and partly his age. I'm waiting to see how things progress at the moment, but it is incredibly frustrating

Utterly normal, what's abnormal is he used to like helping.

DD2(13) has always been totally self absorbed at home. She is incredibly insightful at school, has always considered her friends needs from starting nursery age, but get 4 sets if cutlery with out being reminded - not a chance.

Honestly if he used to be thoughtful he will be again, DD1(16) is very good at seeing things need doing.

All DCs forget and rush HW, the world doesn't end and honestly teachers do give duff instructions and then dole out detentions, they are only human.

Yes, reading it back those complaints seem a bit wet . I think's it the frequency of it that gets to me though. There'll be several times a day when I shout think "why couldn't you just put it away/pick it up/do it yourself/do it without being asked.....?"

Normal behaviour. I asked my ds (13) to throw his sweet wrappers away last night, he threw one away but left the other that was beside it, apparently that one wasn't his. He didn't do it out of badness as he picked it up after I'd pointed to it, he simply didn't think to do it.

Actually no, not normal. He sounds much nicer than your average 13 year old

I can't imagine anyone of any age doing more homework than they thought they needed to.

It is normal, but also the exact sort of behaviour that infuriates me when I see it in my dds. Things like only getting your own cup and plate out of a dishwasher full of clean things are the sorts of issue I've massively stamped on in the past, and to be fair they rarely do it now.

On the downside, if I leave my cereal out on the table, having made a fuss about them tidying theirs away, I am in Big Trouble!

The homework really gets to me. I understand not doing more than needed but who decides what's needed. E.g half a page would mean he has something to hand in and avoid detention but 2 pages would demonstrate what he's capable of and get a decent mark. I know it's not all about quantity but they can't mark what's not there.

My 29 year old partner would have left the tea towel and peg bag out. He probably would have left the back door open too..

DS regularly leaves drawers and cupboard doors open, opens fridge and leaves door ajar, leaves table with plate still there etc etc. Has just started secondary school and already forgotten football kit, French book and calculator - despite me questioning several times "Are you sure you've got everything." Incredibly frustrating.

Most pre GCSE HW bar maths and, possibly MFL vocab. for the language your going to do at GCSE is pretty pointless.

DD has a huge project to do on famous people. Once she's learnt how to research one of them properly the rest is just a grade a pain in the neck.

Honestly OP would you have written two pages when 1/2 a page would keep you out of detention.

Yes, I really would Elephants. I would have stressed over it until I knew it was the best I could possibly make it and then worried that it wasn't good enough. I realise I was odd His teachers are telling me he needs to do more but there are no consequences (other than poor marks) when he doesn't.

Seriously? That is teens. Heck, that is some adults! I saw a photo online where a woman had asked her husband to peel half the potatoes so instead of peeling ten in full he had peeled half the skin off all twenty.

I wonder how these people manage to get themself through the day.

I'm with him, you only asked for his uniform.

I'm guessing he'll do more in Y10/11, and that's the point for very very gentle encouragement if he doesn't.

My 38 year old husband would have left the peg bag and tea towel out and I've lost count of the number of times he's left cupboards, drawers, doors and even the car wide open. It's infuriating but he's genuinely just wired differently. On the flip side he often astounds me with random acts of thoughtfulness and generosity so I'll keep him for now