6yo can't cope with goodbyes. Ever. Anyone been through similar?

[TeaKeepsMeSane]

Hi, our 6yo DD treats every goodbye as if the person leaving is going off to war. She's in year 2 now, has lots of friends and the staff tell me she's one big smile all day but I'm growing to hate drop off as there are nearly always tears because she doesn't want me to go (same with DH). She's always been like this. Even as a toddler she'd refuse to kiss grandparents etc when they were leaving on the basis that 'I don't like goodbyes' and then leg it upstairs to avoid seeing them leave. Although I'm fairly certain she's fine the second she's in I find the whole thing draining and alternate between worrying about her and wanting to tell her to man the f up. She's worse if there's a crowd like at drop off and better when she's just going in somewhere with smaller numbers at her own pace (breakfast club).

Can someone please tell me it's a maturity thing and that she'll grow out of it? I,d like to know it's not some deep-seated security issue and that she'll stop before the other kids start taking the mick.

Thanks

Someone I know with a similar small child who gets wobbly at goodbyes took to drawing a smiley face on her DD's hand. Telling her to "Look at it and think Mummy will fetch you at home time" seemed to help. That and not lingering but a swift kiss and matter of fact "I'm going now but see you when school ends".

They might not grow out of it completely for some time but they learn to cope better.

DD2 is just 10 and has gone through phases of this throughout school. We found a transition toy helps. She has a small toy she keeps in her school bag. On wobbly days we take it out and she holds it as she goes through the door. Then it goes back in her back at the coat-racks.

Something with Mummy's perfume on may help, and maybe a small note in her pocket.

Hi, my ds also uses a transition toy. It does help. I really like the suggestion of drawing a smiley face, I might try that.

I was very upset about all goodbyes as a child, I'd even cry when it was time to get out of the bath as I was sad to say goodbye to the water.

I'm a relatively normal adult although I still hate goodbyes. I just feel things very strongly which also includes happy times so there is some benefit.

We have to have a very strict routine at transition times. We do a set number of kisses and cuddles and count them off, we repeat the same script in simple language and use a transition toy for school. It has helped enormously.

I used to be bad at goodbyes as a child, but only if I wasn't seeing someone for ages, not at school etc. still bad as an adult - but I think partly it's because I feel stressed knowing I might cry rather than for the goodbye itself.

My 6 year old dd is exactly the same it's heart breaking so thanks also for tips I'm going to try these ideas and see what helps good luck op x