My 4yo still holds his pencils like a 2yo

[JuniperTisane]

not quite a fist but the next stage on. He only scribbles still, occasionally does a circle or a zig-zag but mostly just does a line, then changes colour until he's used all of them and declares himself finished. He is unkeen in the extreme.

Are we going to have some problems when he starts school next september?

Oh good God!

Pfb?

Do not worry. My DS did n't hold a pencil at all until he was at school.

Chill out or you'll drive yourself mad

I do drive myself mad. Usually with comparison to his little playmates who are all starting to produce something recognisable. I need people to tell me its ok, or not so I can worry legitimately.

It is perfectly OK. Indeed, the fact that he holds a pencil at all shows that he is doing fine.

Try not to compare your DS to other children. It will only make you sad, smug, or deranged!

However, if you need reassurance, remember that there will be kids going into his class who have just turned 3.
Your DS must be one of the oldest, and I speak from the position of having a child who is one of the youngest in the year, at the beginning of school your DS will have a massive advantage over the younger kids. It's not fair, but thems the breaks.

Another thing to do is to realise that you child is not just about ability. Obviously he is the most precious thing in the world to you, and you want everyone to know that he is so ace, and it can therefore be a bit heartbreaking that he does not seem to be as 'good' at doing things that other kids are. This is a bit of a red herring.

I look at some of the kids who are advanced in my son's group of friends. And some of them are, frankly, not very nice. I would much rather have my sweet natured and kind little boy, who is averagely able, but who is happy, and who brings a huge amount of joy to our family.
When I see some of his poetry spouting contemporaries pinching their siblings and telling their mothers that they hate them, I'm glad that I have my little duffer, who adores his siblings, and is basically lovely.

But back to your issue. if it upsets you, just stop seeing those friends. I had one friend when my DS was very little, who was a really nice person, but her son was very advanced next to mine. My DS has not even saying car, and she once brought him round to show off his newest word, it was 'hovercraft'. I backed off after that, because rather than enjoying the time we spent together and the support we had given each other earlier in our children's lives, her insistence of showing (and I don't think it was showing off) her son's abilities in the face of my child's lack of development made me sad.
I know I should have risen above it, but frankly I was not mature enough to do so.

Good luck. You'll be fine. And so will he.

Aww thank you. I know he is a lovely boy with his own abilities. Preschool told me last week he was comforting another little boy who was in tears tantrumming, I saw it after his mum dropped him off. He is very empathetic. Also great with physical stuff, climbing, running, scooting. Loves cars and trains, storybooks, puzzles etc. Just hates all things craft or make-ey which makes me nervous.

He sounds lovely :).

Please don't worry though. It's great that he even WANTS to hold a pencil and make marks. A lot of children his age, and some in reception, just aren't unterested yet so you're half way there!

I taught a boy one year who, despite having lots of help, still held his pencil in a full fist by the end of reception. He's now in Y3 and had beautiful handwriting.

What you can do to help is to give him the opportunity to make any kind of mark, on paper or wherever. I'm a child-minder and regularly encourage children to 'paint' the drive with large painting brushes and water, to dip their hands or feet or welly boots in water and make hand prints and foot prints on the drive. We use chalk to draw on the pavement. You can use finger paint or anything to encourage any form of mark making. Holding a pencil or proper paint brush comes later.

Agree with the others. My DS never held a pencil until he was at school at 4.5. He was never interested and I would much rather do things with him that he enjoyed. By half term he was writing sentences.

They are little for such a short time, it seems a shame to spend some of that time forcing them to do activities that they have no interest in.

If you want to improve his fine motor skills how about doing things like drawing swirls with outdoor chalk and asking him to trace the lines with a child's paintbrush and some water. Could you both collect leaves and get him to glue them to some paper? Its a good opportunity to talk about colours and different types of trees too. Even things like asking him to help pegging out by passing you the pegs will help.

There are some more ideas here