2nd child syndrome/guilt

[MrsRV]

DD1 is 2.5, DD2 us nearly 5 months.

I feel like I'm enjoying DD2 being a baby much more & just kind of letting stuff rather than actively encouraging (forcing!!) things... I.e. rolling, grasping objects, laughing etc.

However, routine & sleeping concern me. DD2 has a definite bedtime and routine but other than that we just go with the flow. she naps whenever... and generally I stick her on a lie flat bouncer to sleep in the hallway or dining room during the day as don't want to leave DD1 unattended if DD2 needs a bit if settling etc. Also she feeds generally 3-4 hours apart but at no set times - varies due to time of night feed/wake up time etc.

DD2 usually wakes up once in the night & I give her a bottle. she has slept through a couple of times so I know she can do it but I'm so tired in the night I just give in to a quick feed.

is my approach this time too relaxed and will I learn to regret this? was so strict & structured with DD1 - she always slept & fed perfectly. Having guilt that I'm not (and in reality probably not able!) to treat them the same!!

DD1 was centre of our universe fir 2 years. feel bad that DD2 doesn't get all of that attention and fear thst this will affect her development etc.

that is normal, nobody treats their kids equal.

When the second comes around, you are an experienced mum, and know what works. Also, kids are different.

Don't sweat it. Take a break from them every now and then to remind yourself you are not just a mum

While dd2 may not get as much attention from you, she will benefit from having an older sibling to look up to. Don't sweat it.

Everything you've posted is perfectly normal and usual.
Having 2 dc is very different from having 1 dc. The experience will be entirely different.

You treat them equally by doing the best for both of them that you can, with the circumstances at the time. That is not the same as them being treated the same , even if you could.

It is not an issue at all - there are many things younger siblings get from older siblings that make up for less 1:1 time from parents.

thanks ladies... I forget that DD1 will play a huge part in her life. and actually thinking about it she already is transfixed on her & tries to grab her at any given opportunity! she's probably already learning just from watching. she's already rolling and DD1 never did... guess she never needed to as we were always there to pass her things/entertain her etc!!