AIBU in expecting a six year old to have some sense of time.

[mrsdoubtmom]

Moms, please advise. I want to know how to teach the importance of being on time to my six year old. Every morning is an ordeal as try to get her ready to school and the same in the evenings for other classes. It is affecting our family as a whole. As she gets delayed, i go late to work and all of us are in a bad mood even before day starts.
Even when I tell her, with a digital clock, she has just 20 mins to leave to get ready, she just keeps talking, or lying on bed or running around the house. She loves her school. I went to the extent of not sending her to school one day to check if that would help. She cried a lot but was back to the same next day.
I am losing my patience. I end up screaming, beating her. I am sure there is a better way around. Please help. I have tried having a talk with her.. reading her moral stories on time keeping and how people lose things being not on time etc.

please please please suggest.

You end up screaming and beating her?

Please tell me that is a typo?

Beating her??!

Going to assume and hope that isnt what you actually meant......

In answer to your question you need to buy a ten or twenty minute egg timer so she can see the time running away from her, that should help'it does with my six year old. Worth a try?

Beating her?

Seriously?

Why don't you break it down for her into stages. Get her to get dressed first, etc etc

Not beating her.

"I end up screaming, beating her."

I am sure you know this is not good.

In my experience children of 6y have very little sense of time. Most cannot tell the time beyond o'clock and half past, and could not estimate how long one minute is, let alone 20 minutes.

I work in year 2 - so with 6 and 7 year olds. I think you are expecting too much.

Give 2 or 3 instructions at a time - definitely no more, and you may need to start with less. Ask them to be done straight away. Have reminder pictures of order, etc. if you feel this would help. Always give a 5 min, 2 min, 1 min reminder.

I'm hoping you meant berating her? Otherwise you have much more serious issues than time.

I have 6 dc and currently have a 6 yo and a 7 yo neither have any concept of how long 20 mins is tbh. My 9 yo can tell the time so understands but is the queen on procrastination.

Egg times, a good routine and organisation will help a lot. Shouting will not it will make things worse.

I agree with the pictures and when I said egg timers i meant the ones where sand pours down. Visuals will help her to understand.

Ok I'm not going to comment on the beating her - can't imagine you mean that. You need to break the time available into managable chunks for her and build in a little wriggle room. Ie you need to get up now. You need to get dressed now. Have breakfast. Brush teeth. Put shoes on. Get in the car. Visual cues help some kids ie pictures of each stage. Ask calmly for something to be done and give her time to do it. Star chart - reward each stage and then treat at end of day/ end of week?

my 8 year old is perfectly capable of telling what time it is by looking at a clock. And what the hands will look like when we need to leave. She has very little concept of how long it takes to get from one to the other. And I'm ok with that - it's my responsibility to get her to school, not hers, because I'm the adult.

I think you're being really harsh on a six year old. She needs it broken down into little individual tasks. Even if it means being ready for school half an hour early because you've given yourself too much time.

Ladies, Unfortunately, it is not a typo. I feel really terrible for doing that... today is the first time and I am so guilt ladden. I did try a timer, reward stickers etc.

Do you mean "berating" rather than "beating"? I really hope so.

Google examples of picture cues for a morning routine

eg socialthat.extor.org/blogs/121628/53447/token-board-method-gratifying-good-conduct-in

I'm going to ignore the beating comment and assume it's a typo.
Yes YABU 6yo IMO have no sense of time. I have a 9 and 7 yo.
You need to have a set routine in the morning for your child. Ours is

1. get our of bed, wee. This is 1 hour before we leave.
2. Eat breakfast in Pjs. Until about 30 minutes before we leave
3. Get dressed, brush teeth, face until 15 minutes before we leave
4. Put pack lunch in school bag.

Until these four chores are done no playing, in the early days they needed constant reminders and sometimes standing over. Clothes are put out the night before by my child ( in a visible place so the child doesn't forget where they have out them) Defo no Tv in the mornings. Then 5 - 10 minutes before it's time to go I remind them we are leaving very soon and then need put shoes on and coat. This also give time for an extra drink or toilet stop. Even so often I have to remind my 7yo as he walks down the stairs that he doesn't have his school bag. At the start of term I find timers with a buzzer and reward stickers for doing as Mum asks work well as reminders. Now with my 9yo he always eats breakfasts and gets dressed, sometimes teeth. Always has to be reminded to out socks on. 7yo will eat breakfast then go and play.

Please do not hit her.
It won't help.

Are you American?

Sorry just seen you have tried timers/rewards. Then maybe you need to stand over her. You get ready first. Then spend the rest of the time with her sitting with her as she does each stage.
Hopefully as she gets older she will get better at this.

Thanks a ton ladies. I think I will try the picture cues and allocate more time. She is usually up by 7.00 and we have to leave only by quarter to nine as we literally live next door to the school.

@Terrierterror: No, I am not. Y?

Then beating your child will land you in prison so get a fucking grip and stop abusing your daughter.

You have said that you BEAT your child. Not hit or smack which, while imo still unacceptable, are less violent - beat.

I seriously think you need to get some formal assistance with parenting.

No breakfast/tv until dressed and hair brushed, then no tv til teeth done.
Failing that, call time warnings as usual and take her in her pyjamas if she ignores.

Honestly. You guide her through the process. You cannot expect her to just get it.

Your job as a parent is to teach her. Teach her how to get ready in the morning.

I have a 6 yr old with no sense of time.

I set her uniform out the night before and there is no tv before breakfast, wash and getting dressed.

It takes a lot to get her and her sisters out of the door on time but it is doable.

Please don't beat her

you have loads of time - dressed, teeth and breakfast before tv or playing. stand over her while she does it and eventually she will get into the routine. she's only 6!

Oh, assumed that 'beat' was a typo.
Erm that really won't help and your daughter may well tell a teacher.
I would suggest gp for advice if you're losing control op.

I'm ignoring everything in your post and just answering the q in the title...

If you look at any child development book, you will learn that children only begin to have a concept of time around 6 years. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later.

They may learn to tell the time in simple terms like half past, o'clock etc through numbers, but the concept of how long things take is not always there yet.

Get a bloody timer and tell her when it rings time is up.