Finally today I got my prohibited steps order. All 3 kids to remain with me until a contact hearing. Yeyyyy!
All goin well, attended an open evening for ds2, called at tesco after for some bits and ds1 kicks off cause I refuse to buy an energy drinks, sits on the floor and sulks like a 3 yr old. He's 12.
I leave.
I'm in the car and he slopes out, telling me how shit I am, how dad would have bought it and how he refuses to go to school tomorrow. Cue screaming match.
Come home and he packs a bag and leaves. He hangs round outside for an hr or so then we hear taps on the window, 15 mins later they turn into bangs. I ask him several times to come in an he refuses. 5 mins later he's in. Doors locked.
I go to talk and argument starts. Ds2 comes to join in, I ask him to leave the room. Ds1 jumps up and squares up to me. I wrap my arms roun him and try to restrain him. All he'll breaks loose and suddenly I've "abused" him.
I leave the room aster asking him to calm down.
He's now in the hall kickin the door. Ds2, dd and myself are on the couch trying to ignore him, the kicks are louder ad louder, I go out and move him from the door. He kicks me. I lift him and he throws himself on the stairs, again I've abuse him, at this point I can't breathe, I'm having a panic attack I think. I cry. I'm so shit.
I'm in bed now, crying again. Dreading the morning for fear of the rows about school that are to follow. He's downstairs, alone banging on the coffee table. I've asked him so many times to come to bed, got told to eff off.
Why? What am I doin that's so wrong for him to hate me to behave like this?