My 4 year old keeps running out the house!

[hodgesmum]

Me and my son have recently moved to a new house, theres loads of children in the street but they are all a couple of years older than him. but whenever he sees them outside he runs out the house to go and play wit them no matter what the time is. he mostly plays out side my house,which is fine because i can see him but sometimes he goes further and i cant see him, and although i know the area very well and i know its safe im just scared something happens and i cant find him. And because im a single parent i often find myself having to get my neighbor through to sit in my house while i go out looking for him in case he comes home and the house is empty. is this normal for 4 year olds to do this?

No one is saying you're a bad mother. You just can't leave him yet, not at all when he's outside the house.

Do you have a garden?

Its great that Mumsnet is here when you want advice or second opinions. More readily available than a health visitor too .

ok, all you want to know is is it normal?

Yes.

It is.

Young children cannot keep themselves safe. They rely on us to keep them safe. That is normal.

There is nothing abnormal about your son.

If that is what you are asking.

No it is not normal. I do not allow my 5y old out of my sight. please contact your health visitor tomorrow and explain the difficulties you are having in keeping your son safe. Then you can get help to manage this dangerous behaviour. this may have been normal years ago but not present day.
And OP you do not know its safe, how can you when you have no idea where he is or who is talking to him.

Get an extra lock for the top of your door that he cannot reach. Remove the keys from the door and hide them somewhere. Don't let him out alone.

I think 4 is way too young to be out alone. My dd is 11 and just started high school and is only now allowed to walk into town on her own (we live in a rural village). She has been allowed to play in the park next to us with a friend since last year.

oh dear. I don't mean that sentence to suggest there's anything abnormal about you but you simply seem to want to know if he is normal. Yes. He is. He's 4. They do all sorts.

Ah, I'm confused: do you want to know if its normal for 4 year olds to ignore you and be "defiant" (old fashioned word there) or is it normal for 4 year olds to play out alone?

As vitalstatistix says, yes normal to ignore you and try and get away with stuff, but definitely NOT normal for 4 years to go out alone.

i simply meant this situation is not normal
not that your son is not normal

In fact OP i have come back as i keep thinking about your situation
you have come on here for help for your son, that makes that a good parenting decision to know when you need help
please dont feel negatively judged by anyone here
its probably not helpful to talk in terms of normal /abnormal (even though i have done so!)
rather your son has some challenging behaviours and you need extra parenting skills to deal with them
no shame in that. I'm 43 and constantly reading books on how to manage DDs tantrums
anyway, please follow through on getting help from the health visitor tomorrow
i know you want the best for your child
have a hug from me ((((((((((((())))))))))))))

No judging here either -- I am the mother whose child had to be found by the police after all .

Four year olds are away with the fairies most of the time and they need watching because they have no common sense.