14 year old ds is cripplingly shy. Any tips and ideas please?

[FreakinScaryCaaw]

DS2 has always struggled with being shy and it hasn't got better with age. He has been through CAHMS because of other problems, a phobia and nightmares. Plus I strongly suspect he has aspergers but nothing's been proven.

Has anyone else experienced this with their dc/s? I don't know if it'd be worthwhile getting in touch with CAHMS again? Or maybe starting with the GP?

Any literature recommendations? TIA

"Shyness" in itself isn't a problem. What is it about being shy that he doesn't like? Does it affect his life in an adverse way?

I am a shy introvert. It's just the way I am. I am perfectly happy not having loads of friends, not going out, not having a social life. I don't like having to make idle conversation and find it uncomfortable.

Many people find this odd. What makes it worse is people trying to push me into things, and making me feel odd or abnormal for not wanting to do those things. The only reason I an unhappy being shy, is because of other peoples attitudes to it.

Read "raising your introvert child". Bear in mind that your ds may not need people around him in the way that you do.

If it affects him to the point of not being able to interact with shopkeepers etc, role playing can help. Knowing what he's going to say in advance. And counter- intuitive as it may seem, drama classes/club. Scripted words can give confidence speaking aloud...

Oh I know shyness isn't a problem in itself. It's the interaction in shops ect... I may try role playing if he's up for it? I suggested drama clubs as they have one at school but he isn't keen.

My dsd is shy and has managed to cope and get a good career. She's 26 and still has anxieties but it's the way she is. I'm hoping ds2 will get more confident with age?

His brother (16) is like me, very confident. But he's becoming worried for ds2 now as well as it may affect ds2's schooling. Plus he cares for his brother and wants him to have opportunities and be able to look people in the eye.

That message sounded mixed up I've just been doing hours of nvq study and my mind's a bit scrambled. Thanks for the reply micah.