Pants of doom - tales of withholding and associated woe

[Spiderflunky]

So anyone put the with ideas send me some because I am all out of fresh ideas and pants.

I have a fab 5year old, toilet trained ordinarily and without incident. Did fine at play school and nursery then started withholding poo in reception. Before long he only withheld poo at which point we entrusted the realm of endless accidents, crusty pants and prongs galore.

I know withholding is always constipation, I know regular pooing isn't a sign of not being constipated but he is not constipated. His issues are all around not wanting to poo at school. We have done everything we can think of including easy up trousers, access to quiet toilets, access to toilet wipes, multiple prompts etc. some progress for a few weeks of real effort and rewards for everyone but never solved.

We hit the holidays and the issue vanished overnight, no soiling and used every toilet here and abroad as we holidayed. Back to school and it's like he has never been away. He loves playing after school and can't do this on accident days, gets cleaned up in school, can't go to his friend's house after school until it is sorted has daily rewards lined up for clean days... What the Jeff else might work? School remind him and we have all chatted about it, ideas? Help!

Sorry should have proof read but you get the gist!

I've got some experience of withholding as have just been through a difficult period with my 3 yr old. His was related to constipation and the fact it hurt so would withhold as long as he could. I know you say he's not constipated but I think I'd try seeing the gp and asking for some movicol anyway.. The principal is the same whatever the reason for withholding.
Ds now has one sachet a day, given first thing. It works over 12 hours so I am pretty sure he will want to go after tea when he's at home. The idea being he has regularly timed movements. As long as you get the dose correct, there shouldn't be any episodes of diarreoah but it does soften it to a degree that will mean that he cannot physically hold it in anymore.
I think it sounds like your only option. My ds Is like a different child now this is better controlled.
Good luck

We are also have DD (nearly 3) on movicol (chocolate flavour!!) because of stool withholding. I think it started because of constipation, but now is also related to a fear of pooing on the potty. Movicol makes her poo every day (in a nappy just before bed time in DD's case). She takes it at breakfast.

I agree with Jakey: different child since we got things sorted with the movicol. Would definitely recommend discussing it with your GP.

I also found this book very useful to understand what is going on: Constipation, withholding and your child by Anthony Cohn.

Hullo thanks both, will definitely look up the book.

The problem with movicol for us is that ds has soft poo to start with he poos at least once a day, usually twice and often three times. All I can think if we add in a softening ingredient is that he has liquid shit everywhere! He can't withhold his poo successfully as it is hence the soiling. He is pretty regular usually morning, lunch and maybe evening. Just allergic to school toilets!

I don't think it's uncommon problem for children to avoid school toilets - many adults don't like using public toilets either!

Not sure whether this organisation can help?

www.eric.org.uk

It's worth giving them a ring

I know, he has my full sympathy in many ways. I have spoke to Eric who were convinced he wS constipated but really it is more simple physiologically he prefers to poo his pants rather than poo at school. You would think I have the most pristine bathroom but I don't, maybe that is it and I need to throw some clothes around and leave a bunch of random socks on the floor to make it homely!