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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Feel I have failed today

9 replies

Taler · 15/09/2014 19:00

All I have done for my 10 month DD is the bare minimum today, ie changing her, feeding her. I haven't enjoyed being a mum today and feel awful for feeling that way. I have really struggled today.

Now I am sat down (for the first time) I have time to reflect and I feel horrible for not really playing with her at all today.

She has been really trying today, very clingy, has had only 2 x 20 minute sleeps (!) and is not eating much - all because she has a cold so in fairness to her all undertadable reasons.

But I just haven't dealt with it well and have felt like I've had no patience.

I just need to know that you other mums have your bad days too and how you cope with them.

I love my DD beyond words but being a mum is the hardest job in the world!!

OP posts:

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LastingLight · 15/09/2014 19:17

I love my DD beyond words but being a mum is the hardest job in the world!!

Indeed. And because we are only human we don't get it right all the time. That's ok. DD wasn't feeling well today, you had a bad day, it happens. Be kind to yourself and try again tomorrow. You don't have to be the "perfect parent", there is no such thing. Just aim for "good enough".

Jaffakake · 15/09/2014 20:41

I've had days like that too - plenty over the last 3 years. I just pick one thing to try & be better at tomorrow, then it doesn't get too overwhelming. Be kind to yourself x x

MrsMinton · 15/09/2014 20:47

I always think when you or your children aren't well that as long as everyone got fed and to bed and was safe then you've had a good day!
Have a and some sleep. You did great

NickyEds · 15/09/2014 21:04

Me too. Today's been hard. DS is 9 months and, after a terrible night last night, teething and general clinginess have led to some very average parenting today. I hate that I'm not more patient with him.

FairlyUseless · 15/09/2014 21:09

Even if I've had the crappest day ever and feel I've been Shit Mum I write down 3 positive things that happened, no matter how small. I bet if you do that now you'll realise you are a great mum who just had an off day.

Flissity83 · 15/09/2014 21:30

I agree with miss Minton. Your little one was fed, watered and had her bum changed - sounds like being a good mum to me. It's ok to have bad days. Tomorrow will be different. On Saturday me and my 10 month old didn't get dressed all day. We had the TV on and he played with his toys. I just needed a lazy day.

FinDeSemaine · 15/09/2014 22:04

You sound fine. You weren't mean to her, you were just having a hard day and so was she. It's OK. Everybody has those days, and I mean absolutely everybody. And our children are perfectly OK. You don't have to get it right all the time, you just have to be kind most of the time.

Picklesauage · 16/09/2014 13:46

There are days like this and often weeks like this and very occasionally a month like this. Don't worry, on those occasions I use a mantra given to me by a very wise woman who has 5 wonderful children.

She said "some days the best you can aim for is 'All fed, no one dead'"

There are days when it has helped me to remember other mothers think this too.

AdorableAbbie · 16/09/2014 17:24

Being a mom is a hardest job but if you love your DC unconditionally all those hardest feeling will be gone! That's ok don't feel too upset of what you did you take care of your DD! love and care is the most important thing you should give.
Tomorrow is another day! spend the time and play with her.

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