How do you know when a 3 year old is actually hungry or trying it on?

[Bakersbum]

Ds is constantly saying he is hungry and asking for food, more etc. I am pretty sure 90% of the time he is just trying it on but would hate to be wrong, and be a mean mummy.

He is at the upper end of both percentiles. I am worried about over feeding him and I am concerned about the whole not seeing your child is overweight thing, but then worried about missing that he is actually hungry, perhaps needing more food than usual due to growth spurts etc.

Probably over thinking it, but it's bothering me.

If he's at the upper end of both centiles, it doesn't necessarily mean he's overweight. My dn is on 98 for both and has always been. She's very active, eats well and is very active. There isn't an ounce of fat on her.

What is a normal day in terms of food and activity?

He is a bit chunky looking at the moment, but usually this is followed by a height increase so it kind of evens itself out.

Today for example:
Bowl of weetabix (2)
Mid morn yoghurt
Lunch 1 slice cheese on toast, 4 cherry toms with an Apple
Mid aft banana
Tea fish pie with peas and sweetcorn, dessert 1 mini chocolate muffin
Glass of milk

Lots of running around playing super heroes, 2 hrs park Inc bike ride, climbing, football.

Diet when with me is always similar, although 4 day's a week not with me.

Physical play daily, parks etc. Plus swimming and football weekly.

Unless you are giving huge portions I'd just assume he was hungry.

I usually offer my DS an apple. If he will eat that then I know he's hungry

Yeah I do the fruit offering between meals, it's the begging for more at meal times I'm not always sure about. I say no when I am pretty sure he doesn't need any more, but then feel guilty and question myself.

My family are all thin, big thing about not being greedy, asking for more growing up, few eating disorders with close family.

Dp family are all quite big, v bad diets, so I think I am trying to find a middle ground. It's actually just dawned on me how my families views are now affecting all of this.

Hmmm food for thought, excuse the pun. I don't actually know what is normal.

I'd just assume he was hungry especially if he was asking for bigger portions or more food. If he only wanted chocolate or ice cream that would be different.

I have this problem with DS. I recently thought I was being clever and said "If you're actually hungry, you can eat some broccoli", he thought for a minute and replied "Ok, mummy, can I please have some broccoli". I didn't actually have any broccoli and had to give him something else instead. I still don't know if he was actually hungry enough to eat broccoli or was just clever enough to call my bluff. Not my finest bit of parenting

My son is 3 and also saying all day long that he is hungrey. I've recently started a diet and I am eating a lot less through out the day so his meal times have changed also, I thought perhaps he is hungrey and not getting enough food. But now I think he's just saying it for the sake of it. I made a big cooked breakfast for us sausage, egg, mushrooms not the healthiest but I'm cutting out carbs. We went out an hour later he was saying I'm hungrey, I rushed to KFC as I'd promised him chips as a treat. Got him a meAl and he picked at a few chips and left the rest which I sadly therw in the bin as I'm not eating carbs. I am going to make sure next week, breakfast, dinner and tea plus few healthy snacks and ignore his I'm hungrey. Because if he was actually hungrey surely he would have Ate the nuggets and chips. But on an another occasion last week he was saying I'm hungrey, gave him sweetcorn and he kept asking for more and ate the lot. Thought he must have been hungrey. Sorry I'm no help!!

I'd offer more portions of veg, veggie snacks, and more water as he may be confusing hunger with thirst.

Thanks, glad I am noright. only one to find thdoesn't wing which it is hard.

hollie you may be right about the thirst, he doesn't drink an awful lot.

Sorry God knows what happened to my reply then. Meant to say:

Glad I'm not the only one who finds it hard to know which it is.

Weetabix, toast and cheese and fish pie have salt in and would make you thirsty so make sure he gets water. My ds is the same!

Could you fill him up more at breakfast? Is he full fat milk with his cereal? I'd chop the banana up and put it over his weetabix. Then for the mid afternoon snack you could give him something like hummus and raw veg, a small savoury muffin, cheese straws or a pear and a glass of milk.

If you think thirst might be an issue, could you give him a big glass of diluted fruit juice with his breakfast and a big glass of squash with his mid morning snack?

Mine have to finish their glass of water served with each meal too.

I would add things like

Carrot sticks
Cucumber sticks
Raisins
Apple
Pear
Grapes

Rice cakes
Bread sticks

I would also probably give maybe half a slice of toast at breakfast and some fruit

How are you getting on today? Has he said he's hungry yet? Just thought of something else, I give mine whole wheat bread and pasta, see to help keep them fuller for longer.

I've never really given rice cakes, I just don't seethe point in them. Like others have said, I'd up his veg portions at mealtimes and personally, I'd up his protein too.

I think he needs more protein with his breakfast. How about a boiled egg sometimes, or scrambled eggs?

A child who wants another helping of the main course always gets it in this house (assuming there is some!) Not pudding though.

My DD is 4 and would eat constantly if she could. Fruit, veg, anything, not just junk.

We try to manage it by making sure she has good sized healthy meals and reminding her she's only just eaten something.

Agree with nom. If mine ask for seconds of their main meal, they always get it, well if there is any left.

Yes, offer a drink and a snack which isn't necessarily a favourite.

Just a thought looking at your daily menu op: my 21mo eats similar meals to your LO but if we were having cheese on toast for lunch he would have 2 slices not 1. My little boy is also 91st centile for height and weight and is VERY active. He never sits still! So I reckon he needs a fair amount of food. If you're only giving fruit for snacks I reckon you can afford to make the meals a bit bigger.

My ds (3) plays me totally!
He's particularly bad before bedtime, a master of delaying tactics, he uses asking for food to delay bedtime. He knows my weakness is not wanting him to be hungry before bed!
I also suspect he's worked out that we start by offering healthy snacks like fruit , raisins etc and then eventually get onto biscuits. & chocolate!

Thanks for all the ideas and advice, will give bigger portions at meal Times and vary things more.

Not with him for any proper meals now until later in the week, so will prepare and be ready for then.

Come back and let us know who you get on Bum

If ds1 & 2 said they were hungry between meals when they were young, I used to offer a peeled raw carrot. That used to take a while to eat, and keep them occupied.

I think slightly more protein, more veg, and a bit less fruit, plus more to drink should sort it out.

I get that you are no carbing, but children need a balanced diet, so the breakfast was fine, but needs a slice of whole meal toast with it (or similar). Ds2 drinks apple juice (not from concentrate) with his breakfast - from lidl, and water with meals. Usually milk between meals.