Help! Spirited Child Dividing Opinion on Discipline

[Festivalqueen1]

I am pregnant and My 3.5 year old DS was naughty at a recent scan appointment. Within 5 minutes or so he became disruptive and ignored requests to sit quietly. I believe he was playing up due to boredom (i usually bring an ipad or books to my appointments to entertain him if i am alone with him, but didn't bother on this occasion as my partner was with us) and i also believe this to be normal 3.5 year old lack of self control. My partner maintains he should be able to sit still and watch the scan and be talked through what is going on for up to half an hour. He also believes I am too soft on our DS and the discipline isn't strong enough.

DS is a spirited, wilful child, and i use time out and removing toys for a specific time period as punishment for bad behaviour. I always warn him, then follow through with whatever i threaten. I also have no issue with taking him home in the middle of an activity such as a birthday party if his behaviour becomes unacceptable. I have started using sticker charts for rewards. I dont feel I am doing a bad job with discipline, but i am faced with an intelligent wilful child who i have to use high positive energy with all the time to keep control. I am hurt at my partners lack of recognition. Is this clouding my judgment. Am i expecting too little of DS as my partner says. Or is he expecting too much? Thanks in advance. Sorry its an essay!

He expects a 3.5 year old boy to sit still and quiet for HALF AN HOUR????
What planet does he live on??? HAHAHAHAHA. Idiot.

Have you often had to take him home from parties etc. due to his behaviour? Is he worse than his friends?

I'm not sure re behaving at scan - he won't necessarily know or care what's going on, and books etc. are always a good idea to keep kids amused.

Sounds like you are on the ball and dh is being unrealistic...

I have taken him home from a couple of parties for bad behaviour. I think he pushes boundaries like any 3 year old, but I'm very conscious of always following through so that he knows where the limits are. Nevertheless i constantly feel im only in control if all my attention is on him.

Yes he does seem to be higher maintenance than his friends. He also talked in sentences at 13 months, and seems to need constant mental stimulation. I know every parent thinks this but he is really bright, which honestly, makes life pretty hard.

Im at teacher and I can tell you that 15yr olds struggle to sit still for 30mins

He sounds like a totally normal 3 year old to me!! Don't feel you have to discipline differently because he is a bright spark, that is about boundaries that are acceptable to you and your family, not some objective assessment. Relax a bit, there is no 'right'. You might find if you take a bit of a step back and don't constantly watch him (hard I know) then he might settle...try to adjust your expectations a bit: he has lots of time to learn.

IME children tend to respond to warm, short 'commands' rather than long drawn out explanations or reward/punishment type things. Just my own experience though.

I've had recent scans and would not have taken either of my children, who are 4.5 and 6.5 because I know they would have found it very hard to be still and listen and wait for all that time without getting bored and playing up. The older one finds it harder, actually. I did take the youngest to a physio appointment and she was good but there is no way I could have taken the eldest - unless he had the tablet to play on.

Definitely don't think there is anything unusual about your son's behaviour and it's quite normal for 3.5 - and probably much older depending on the child.

I also remember being 3 and being taken to a pantomime and being bored and climbing under the chairs - my mum was not impressed! And that was at a pantomime.

(Still don't like pantomime, though.)

Devoncreamtea yes I do have to discipline differently and be on high alert constantly. What is an IME child?

Wednesbury yes I doubt I'll take him again! To be fair, taking him places is not a problem usually. We've done funerals and weddings with me whispering a fireman sam story in his ear to keep him occupied for at least 20 mins. Trouble is, its too much trouble for dad when im indisposed!!

IME is just internet shorthand for "in my experience."

I agree with others above - sounds like a normal 3.5 year old. Mine is very similar - talking in sentences early, loads of energy - no way would he sit still for half an hour.

Maybe your partner needs to attend a good parenting course; seems unfair that the onus is on you to "prove" your methods when he is the one who's out of touch with normal developmental stages and modem childrearing methods.

Coughle I have said to him that im not saying he is wrong (eve though he os!) But suggested he does a little research before telling me whats right and whats not. I read so much on child development, his arrogance is imfuriating. He doesnt think he needs to as he 'knows his own child'!!