School teething troubles

[Treepig]

Long time MN lurker but not posted before.

DS is nearly 5 and started in reception class last week. Day one was tough - tears, flailing, refusing to get into the car, removing seat belt so I couldn't drive etc. (How on earth do you force a 4 year old to say in the car seat?) Eventually I got him to school and teacher helpfully rushed him into class. Once there he had a fabulous time and has gone back to being excited about school and gone without a hint of a problem.

Yesterday I heard that he was struggling with joining in with some activities - creative things that he feels he does not excel at. Today everything was back to square one. He was okay in the car for the first part of the journey but then dissolved. Once at school he ended up hiding under the car seat insisting he needed to go home to bed. I had to extract him and carry him to school while he cried, screamed and tried to hit both me and the baby in the sling. Once with the TA he was absolutely fine. Today they will be doing lots of numeracy and literacy so he'll be in his element.

I'm guessing this a phase with adjusting to school and learning how to join in with things he doesn't enjoy so much. We have a new baby and my DH has a new job so really far too many changes all at once.

Any suggestions how to help him cope and make the mornings less horrible all round? It breaks my heart to see him so upset, angry and afraid.

Thanks! (And sorry for the essay!)

I might get glande for this. But what about some bribery? What about the promise of a treat after school or dare I say it, chocolate after he's out of the car walking nicely to school? Even a few chocolate buttons as you usher him into class?

Glande?!? I meant flamed!

Alas, he seems immune to bribery! I'd love a good reason to have a store of chocolate in my handbag but he just shrugs it off. Whether stickers, marbles, food, promises of doing an activity together it just doesn't sink in during high stress moments. He just says he doesn't care or he'll do it another time.

It's very frustrating that he is usually very articulate but once the red mist descends there seems to be no way to get through to him or calm him down. Trying to talk about it before hand seems to provoke a reaction or make him withdraw so it feels hard to find an effective way to identify and address the causes.

I feel like I'm letting him down. I know that in these moments he looks like a little horror but he is very kind and sensitive of the majority of the time.