sibling rivalry- How can I stop DD hurting DS?

[kbaby]

DD is 2.4 yrs old and DS is 7 weeks.

DD has taken to hurting DS at any given time. Ive tried to involve her in helping me do things and also giving him cuddles etc but its not working. I cant leave him in the bouncy chair because she keeps laying on him, leaning her head on him and the worst is that she keeps scraming his face!!! poor ds is covered in scram marks all across his face. She also gives him a cuddle but then drags her arms around his neck.
Each time she hurts him we put her in her cot for 2 mins each time.
We dont know what else to do, do we just ignore the behaviour(even though she hurts him) or should we continue with TO.

Hi there!!!Those first few weeks are awful arent they.Personally Id continue with time out/naughty step and state firmly but calmly "It is not acceptable to hit/punch/scratch your baby brother as he is very little and it hurts him."It will settle down eventually.If you have a dp/dh Id try to make sure they give dd plenty of fuss and attention.I found that creating time in the day to have some 1-1 time with the older one also helped (very difficult in those early weeks I know).I also relied on dvds/cbeebies to occupy ds while bf dd,in fact he watched far too much tv in those early weeks but I saw it as a survival technique!!!Other ideas are keeping a box of toys/books both upstairs and down so when you are feeding the older one can still be chatted to about their toys or read books with and be nearby.I became adept at reading a book with one arm and bf baby supporting her with the other.Re looking after the baby, well ds (just 2 when baby born) showed little interest in helping initially and I didnt push it too much.It will get better in time and before you know it youll have the two of them giggling at each other and it becomes delightful rather than the awful slog of the first few months.Hang in there,it does get better!!!

Sorry meant to say the first thing Id do is state calmly but firmly "Dont hurt your baby brother etc" and then if behaviour continues to use TO or naughty step.HTH

Oh yes, I remember that phase. DS use to do the same to dd. Luckily, it was short lived and I only had to do TO once for scratching her face.

I use to try and ignore as much as possible and just move ds away from dd and say "we don't do x,y or z to dd". I use to go OTT with positive praise when he did something nice to/for her.

I found he was being told off for everything initially whereas before she was born he was my little angel and was praised all the time. I can imagine this might have made him resent dd because when I eased up he got bore with it all.

Good luck, I'm sure someone else will have more ideas.

kbaby I think you have to carry on with the time out. but also try to give DD as much positive attention as possible. I know how hard that is!

And I think you have to accept sibling rivalry is going to be there. The bad news from is that DS is 5.7 and DD is 2.4 (as you know ) and it is still as bad as ever. Although fortunately they don't fight much the attention seeking can be really oppressive (speaking as the main focus of the attention seeking). DD will sit down at the breakfast table and start up "my mummy not yours" over and over again, until DS joins in and they get gradually louder - not what I need at 7.15 am. And then they fight over who I dry after their bath. And so on. Usually it is me they fight over, but occasionally they will turn the tables and give DH a go. And last weekend DD started up with "my ganma not yours" so poor MIL is now involved.

Sorry not what you wanted to hear. But they don't fight much. I think you are doing the right thing and remember that DS is only very little so DD is still adjusting.

We didnt know if we should continue with the TO or if it was making it worse. When shes hurt him I ignore her and pick him up etc to show that she gets no attention for hurting but now ive began to query if its making it worse as she sees him getting more attention.
Shes pretty good when im feeding etc its just one minute she will cuddle him nice and then before she moves away she scrams and grabs his face.
Should I stop allowing her to cuddle/touch him?

I know it is very distressing but I won't stop her cuddling and touching him. It definitely made our sitution worse. DS had a cold and tonsilitis when dd was two weeks old and me trying to keep him away from her because i didn't want dd getting ill was the start of all our problems. Once, I stop coming between them things got a lot better. I think there will always be stages for this happening. We still have our moments now and dd is 10mnths old but they are very rare in comparison with all the love he gives her.