5 year old not dry at night

[BoysRule]

I need some advice on how to get my son dry at night - he is in Year 1 at school and I am really conscious of the fact that he is still wearing pyjama pants.

He has been dry during the day for a few years and we had no problems with that. We have tried many times to get him dry at night but each time he wees at about 5am and doesn't wake up until he is wet. We have tried it each time for a week and then I have given up as I can't continue changing sheets at 5am! The wee in his pyjama pants is warm when he gets up at 7am so I think he is doing a wee at about 5/6am.

He doesn't have a drink after 5pm and does try to do a wee before bed although he can't always get one out.

The big issue we have is that he is terrified of getting out of bed - he is generally very scared to go anywhere in the house on his own. He is fine once he is in bed at night but he wouldn't get out of bed without us there. Therefore, getting up and going to the toilet is not going to happen. We have tried with a potty in his room but he didn't wake up and even if he did he still wouldn't get out of bed.

I am now considering playing hardball - i.e pyjama pants are going and you either lie in your wee or get up. Is that awful? Where do I draw the line between pushing him and being kind? I think he is aware of when he is doing a wee now and I do wonder if he is just being lazy/scared to get up.

Any thoughts really appreciated.

It's hormonal. He can't control it until the hormone that shuts his kidneys down at night kicks in. Also he needs his bladder to communicate with his brain to wake him up.

It's not unusual for under 8's to still be wet at night (1:5 I think).

Chill. And please don't leave the poor boy in a wet bet. Use nappies until he's able to stay dry.

Our rule was always 3 consecutive dry nappies, try without. 3 wet beds, back in nappies.

My niece was about 8 before she was dry. My daughter was about two months off her 5th birthday. I believe he is within the realms of normal. I should not play hardball, it is likely to make things worse. Why is he scared? Is it too dark, would a night light work? Does he think that there is a monster outside his bed? I ask this last one since when I was about this age, I was scared to go past a piece of wall, as my sister had told me there was a monster in the wall. Could anything like this be a problem?

Perhaps you could wake him up before you go to bed and get him to do a wee that way he may stretch until the morning? Good luck.

What Micah said

You can't 'train' them at night, it's physiological not behavioural

If he's still not dry by 7 you could ask gp for referral to eneuresis clinic

OK thanks. We have tried lifting him at night too but he just didn't wee. I think we've had about two dry nappies at night in his whole life.

Iwillorderthefood - the scared thing is ongoing since he was about 2. He can't really tell us what he is scared of but he won't go upstairs by himself, day or night.

I will just keep waiting for those dry nappies to happen!