When sibling rivalry becomes bullying

[Mumsfret]

This article on BBC News today: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-29082701

Two of my DDs bicker constantly. All very normal and commonplace, I realise, but sometimes it feels closer to bullying than I'm comfortable with.

"A charity said parents should deal with sibling rivalry before it escalates," goes the article.

How do we go about that? Any hints or tips you'd like to share?

Bump

Bumpity bump?

Hi Mumsfret. That's exactly what I said (out loud, to myself) when I read this earlier today.

Surely the thing about sibling rivalry is it works both ways - its not one child "bullying" another, IME it's them each being equally vile to each other.

Awww They're probably all busy dealing with their fighting DC, having read the same article.

With hindsight, I bullied my younger sister horribly. Luckily she's very resilient and doesn't hold a grudge (that I know of). We've never talked about it. I suspect you could learn A LOT of useful stuff from talking to your DC's deputy head and head teacher about their anti bullying policy, and adapting it for use in the family. I'd have thought it's the same principles, after all. Zero tolerance, encouraging reporting, mediation etc.

Read siblings without rivalry - a great book for this.

Perhaps a bit of role play would help.

Don't shuffle off! I didn't read the article but I wanted to offer my views on sibling rivalry anyway.

I'm the youngest of three. My brothers 'teased' me without mercy and very little parent intervention. It was horrible. I grew up thinking that it was best to always try and hide any insecurities or weaknesses.

DS is and will remain an only child, but I want him to grow up knowing that teasing is totally unacceptable and not allowed in our household. I want him to know that People who love you should never intentionally try and hurt you.

Thanks for comments all This is a subject which really intrigues me. There were six years between me and my younger DB so I didn't really experience much overt rivalry growing up. It's really strong between my two eldest DDs and I just never quite know how best to handle it. Terrifies me a bit, actually.

Must get hold of a copy of Siblings Without Rivalry.