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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Baby sucking her fingers - should I give her a dummy?

20 replies

chestnutmare · 06/09/2014 20:27

Hey, looking for some advice as I'm not sure what to do. My DD is 10 weeks old and has recently started sucking on two of her fingers to soothe herself. She usually does it to send herself off to sleep, occasionally at other times as well.

Is this a bad habit? Should I be giving her a dummy instead? I've had my SIL saying almost since she was born that she needed a dummy. I've heard other people say that it's better for her to be sucking her fingers. So now I'm confused!

Any advice would be appreciated!

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Shallan · 06/09/2014 20:43

(Massive disclaimer as I'm pregnant with my first so no actual experience!) but according to my la leche league book, the womanly art of breast feeding, babies at that age suck their fingers because they're hungry. Maybe worth offering her feeds when she's sucking her fingers to see if that's what she wants?

Ardliath · 06/09/2014 20:51

I never saw the need to give my two a dummy. If your baby seems happy enough then why introduce one. I took the view that it was just one more thing to worry about if they came to rely on it. Friends whose children used one were always scrabbling around trying to find one when their babies became fractious. At least your baby won't mislay her fingers!

chocolatemartini · 06/09/2014 20:53

I'd also say if breastfeeding offer a feed. If not then dummies are a personal choice. I think there's some evidence that they can affect speech and dental development but many many babies have them and grow up fine.

Original poster

chestnutmare · 06/09/2014 21:02

Thanks for replying. I'm pretty certain she's not hungry, she's offered the breast plenty, feeding every few hours, putting on good weight, etc. She most often does it when I put her down for the night when she's getting sleepy, usually straight after a feed. When she first started doing it I did assume it was hunger and would try to feed her but most of the time she wasn't interested (as she'd been fed recently!)

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Original poster

chestnutmare · 06/09/2014 21:05

I think she's just thrown me a little today as she's been doing it a bit more than usual, but then she's slept quite a lot today too!

I'm not quite sure why but I'd prefer not to give her a dummy if I don't have to! Thanks! I'll just keep making sure she's offered a feed plenty!

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MsHighwater · 06/09/2014 21:05

My dd used to do this and I wondered about using a dummy instead. In the end, she never took to a dummy. For a time, I worried that we would struggle to get her to stop (since we couldn't take her fingers away like we could a dummy) but she just naturally stopped by the time she was about 3.

Pico2 · 06/09/2014 21:10

I'd definitely give her a dummy. My DD was a thumb sucker. Had she had a dummy, it would have been binned by 1 or 2, but you just can't do that with thumbs/fingers. She has stopped sucking her thumb now (at nearly 4), but you can see that she has changed the shape of her jaws. If you look at threads on MN about stopping sucking thumbs, they are full of tales of adults who still do etc. I think that some babies like to comfort suck much more than others and if you have one of these it is worth trying a dummy to avoid the stress if stopping the alternative. We will certainly be giving our next baby a dummy if it shows any inclination to suck.

Justgotosleepnow · 06/09/2014 21:11

It's called self soothing. The baby is learning to soothe herself when she needs it, and discovering her body. Just make sure her nails aren't sharp.

Or she could be hungry, going through a growth spurt.

No need to give a dummy. There's a lot of reasons why not to give a dummy. So if she is fine then just leave her to it!

Original poster

chestnutmare · 06/09/2014 21:12

That's good to know MsHighwater. Sounds similar. I just remembered (sorry!) that we have offered a dummy before when she was a few weeks old, when we couldn't get her to settle one night and she wouldn't take it!

It's just that you get so many different opinions thrown at you, and with this being my first (only!) baby, it can get very confusing!

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micah · 06/09/2014 21:19

You'll get many opinions :)

You have to weigh up what you thing you'd prefer to deal with- a finger sucker, or a dummy sucker?

Some people are very anti dummy, and prefer their child to suck their thumb or fingers.

The dental thing is neither her or there, a dummy will cause the same issues as thumb sucking with very prolonged use..

I preferred a dummy. Mainly because I knew I'd be able to take it away, and not have a long term habit to deal with . It was a godsend tbh, I only have positive things to say about it. Took it away age 3 with no issues.

omri · 06/09/2014 21:20

My 5 month old does this- I think it's more of a comfort thing. I tried her with a dummy at the start (it was a lifesaver for me when my ds was teething/getting to sleep etc) but she point blank refused it!
It's fine now she sucks her fingers and seems happy doing it when falling asleep.
My only concern is that with ds I was able to take the dummy away by the time he was 2. I can't take dd's fingers away!!

Op- what's your concern here exactly?

BiggerYellowTaxi · 06/09/2014 21:22

Both of mine had dummies but would suck thumbs or fingers as well. I've been really strict about only giving DD a dummy when she's going to sleep but she'll suck her fingers at other times anyway. I think if they need and get comfort from sucking, it's hard to stop them.

Original poster

chestnutmare · 06/09/2014 21:28

To be honest omri, I'm not really sure! I've had one or two people telling me she should have a dummy, this was before she started sucking her fingers though so I just ignored them. Now that she is sucking her fingers, I guess I was just concerned about it causing problems further down the line and that perhaps a dummy would be the better option for the reason micah mentioned (being able to take it away).

It's been useful reading all the opinions on this thread, thanks to everyone who has replied. But as she's mainly only doing it to fall asleep, self-soothing, I think I'll leave her be for now.

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Pico2 · 06/09/2014 21:54

There is a difference from a dental point if view due to being able to take away the dummy. They might have the same impact while being used, but if you are the type of parent giving it this much thought, you are probably not the type of parent to let their 5 yo keep a dummy.

hollie84 · 06/09/2014 21:58

The good thing after finger/thumb sucking is they can find them themselves so good for self-settling
Bad thing is it is bad for their teeth and hard to get them to stop

Bad thing about dummies is they need you to find their dummy if they wake in the night
Good thing is you can chuck them in the bin before it's a dental problem

So pluses and minuses to both, it's up to you!

Original poster

chestnutmare · 06/09/2014 22:17

Thanks everyone! Food for thought! I'm probably overthinking it! We had a rough start and I didn't manage to start breastfeeding her until she was 6.5 weeks old so I'm a little prone to overthinking things now I think!

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Greenstone · 06/09/2014 22:26

I agree with hollie's summation - pros and cons to both! We have a 2.7 yr old finger sucker, and we've never had to do the frantic 2am dummy scramble which has been great. Dd self soothes with her finger before she gets tooooo upset and tantrum my. Also good. But she has a giant welt on her finger from all the sucking and does have an annoying habit of speaking through her finger in her mouth when tired. Her speech is excellent though. I'd probably just leave your baby to it, op, a dentist uncle of mine reckons if they want to suck a finger or thumb they'll do it regardless! We plan to bribe/wean dd off it when she's 3.5 or thereabouts.

Echocave · 07/09/2014 18:53

My experience with 2 dd's who used to suck fingers to soothe to sleep was don't bother with a dummy. I actually tried it with both of them (definitely wasn't hunger as was topping up feeds/bottle feeding) but neither took to a dummy. This finger sucking phase only last a couple of months.

Original poster

chestnutmare · 07/09/2014 20:52

Thanks Echocave

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Mrssarahbeee · 17/09/2014 16:24

Definitely go with your heart on this one - my son started sucking his middle two fingers at 8 weeks old (little rock baby we used to call him) and at 18 months old, he's still doing it!

I'm personally not a fan of dummies so I chose just to let him get on with is and it was and is a massive part of soothing him when he is tired and to get to sleep.

I'm of the mindset that if he's still doing it when he's much older, then maybe I'll start to worry but I was a thumbsucker until about 12 and it didn't cause any huge woes for me :)

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