Is this normal for starting nursery?

[Knackeredmum13]

My one year old started full time nursery this week. He has been going for several months so is familiar with the staff and the environment, but this is the first week of him going every day.

He has been a nightmare of over tiredness but today he was the worst I have ever seen him. I picked him up at lunchtime so he wasn't there all day. He was fine for an hour and then was just screaming and flaling around. He was inconsolable and I actually began to worry that something was wrong with him. I have him pain relief but it didn't help. He wouldn't let me hug him but if I didn't hug him he would come over and try to climb up me. I'd cuddle him and then he would pull away and arch his back to get away from me. This went on for a good couple of hours on and off ( mainly on). I managed to distract him a few times but it would last moments and then he would start screaming again.

I can only put it down to extreme tiredness and over stimulation since pain relief made no difference. Is this normal for a first week in full time childcare and will he settle down? I'm wondering whether I need to speak to the nursery and insist they try harder to get him to nap more. But I'm not sure that this is fair on them as they can't force him to sleep and he is getting some naps. I'm unsure as to whether he just isn't getting enough sleep there or whether this is just to be expected until he gets used to going every day?

Bump

Anyone?

My son was like this when he started at nursery at 12 months. he has never napped well during the day and obviously nursery was so exciting and new that he didn't nap at all or just for 20 minutes! We gave it a few weeks and it didn't improve so we changed things so that he was only doing half days (mornings) and as a result he is so much happier.

We don't have the option of sending DS just for mornings unfortunately. But it's good to know it seems normal.

I think give it a bit longer. DD was affected when she jumped from 1 day per week to 3 at nursery. She doesn't nap too much in nursery ever, but thankfully doesn't often (never) get overtired to the extent that she won't sleep at night.

However the upheaval of spending so much more time in nursery had quite a dramatic effect on her in the first 2 weeks. She developed a fierce bout of separation anxiety, refusing to settle to sleep and also woke several times a night (has always been a bit of a champion snoozer). Thankfully both problems were short-lived and within 2 weeks she was back to normal.

Whilst kids are all different in the way they react / adapt to things, my own experience would suggest that you give him another week or so to see if things improve of their own accord.

My dd was like that when she started. Absolutely exhausted by Friday. I noticed during the settling in period that all the kids were ratty and tearful on Fridays so try to collect her as early as possible.

I had to put dd down to get at 6 or 630 to make up for the insufficient naps - you can and probably should ask them to get them to nap more but especially if they are all sleeping in one room they don't sleep as well. Adjust ds's bedtime and see how it goes for a few more weeks, but bear in mind to read the signs, even at 3 yo I'd sometimes have tantrums all the way home, absolute screaming ones if she'd had a particularly exciting day. She also used to have mega long 3 hour naps on Fridays/Saturdays/Sundays up to about 2.5. Hope it settles for you op.

Thanks for the replies it's reassuring to hear that it's normal.
I'm feeling really guilty at the moment about leaving him when he's crying in the morning. It makes it worse seeing him so overtired and unhappy.

I hope things improve as right now I feel like I'm getting all the worst bits of him and none of the good. I don't want his life to go by with me only seeing him when he is exhausted and cranky.

I feel like I'm getting all the worst bits of him and none of the good. I don't want his life to go by with me only seeing him when he is exhausted and cranky.
^^ I feel like this with DD. She has gotten better as she's got used to the routine, but I still get the ratty end of the stick.

Yes, tbh my dd is nearly 4 and it does get better as they cope more with tiredness but i often think you do get the worst bits in there week, hurrying them out the door and home again. That said, I'm on maternity leave now and when they're mostly at home they can start misbehaving due to boredom! I found trying to get a bit more flexibility in my schedule helped, if you can find a way to pick them up a bit earlier one or two days a week it can take the edge off.

I managed to pick him up at lunchtime yesterday and that was when he was worse than I've ever seen him.

Fingers crossed he does settle.

Watching with interest as my DD has also just started - she is 13 months old and the first day she came home she was literally falling over with tiredness. As in, she actually face planted straight onto the livimg room floor !!!

This, combined with the tears at drop off, is just making me want to stop the whole thing.

But is it good for them to get to that point? Surely not? Why not just put them down for a morning sleep FGS

My daughter is exactly the same. She is at nursery 8-6, and often sleeps for only 30 mins during that entire time. At 13 months, after nearly 6 weeks in nursery (3 days per week) she FINALLY slept for more than an hour. It made our evening much nicer. On nursery days we literally get home, milk, straight to bed.

We still get tears at drop off....

Hi waiting - did you ask them to get her to sleep longer? Surely sleep is needed for growth and brain development? Or am I being PFB?

30 minutes ALL DAY at 13 months when some babies are napping TWICE till 16 months on average is harsh isn't it?

It is hard, try not to get too down, I had to accept that a certain amount of end of day tiredness and tantrums was part of the working parent deal. You should all mention the sleep issues to nursery and give it time. I wouldn't do anything too quickly because it may well settle to an acceptable level and taking years out of the labour market is a very costly alternative. Tbh I would have loved to have a granny etc interested in taking dd one day a week or something so she was less tired but we just didn't have that option. If you could find the right childminder if the nursery doesn't work out over time perhaps it's quieter there? Hope you're all having a better week!