Am I being cruel???

[TearingMyHairOut]

My ds1 is nearly 11 weeks old and we have been swaddling him from early on as he had a very strong reflex which used to wake him constantly. Recently he has turned into such a wriggler that every time I go to him he has ended up with the swaddling blanket over his face regardless of how tight I do it. This obviously worries me slightly so I decided I would try to move him into a grobag. But the arm problem came back with a vengeance and he would be up every half hour or so. I said to my hubby that someone should invent a grobag with 'bat wings' that allow a little movement but now too much if they startle. I don't think such a thing exists so I have taken to - please don't think I'm awful - safety pinning the cuffs of his babygrow to the middle of the grobag.
This allows him to stretch/ toucch his face etc but he sleeps soundly. There is no way the pins can prick him or anything.
My MIL is absolutely horrified at the thought and says it could hurt his wrists. I can't stand to think I'm doing something cruel but it seems like a midway between the swaddle and the grobag.

Any thoughts?

no I think it sounds sensible. If it makes him happier than he otherwise would be, surely it can't be cruel?

Makes sense to me too.

My stepsister uses a nappy nippa to pin the swaddling blanket together - she does it up tight, nippas it in place - he can't break free and there is no fiddling with pins.

I have seen a link on another thread that is a grobag swaddling robe thingy.

Swaddleaze Blanket

You're obviously not the only one with this problem

try these they have worked a treat everytime

Have just ordered a cozy cacoon - they look well worth a try thank you so much

I had a similar problem with one of my twins who has a really strong Moro reflex. I swaddled her from birth but by 12 weeks she was constantly wiggling free and would end up with the swaddling sheet over her head which used to terrify me! She would startle and wake up whenever she came into a light sleep (every 45mins from about 3.30am - and during her lunchtime sleep)

I was desperate to move her into a grobag and even attempted to do it up with her arms inside In the end I had to go "cold turkey" - it took about a week of really unsettled crying but I have to say it was worth it. She's now 15 weeks has all her sleeps in a grobag with no problems at all.

Good luck!

Glamourbadger - Cold turkey? What did you do, just let her resettle herself or dummy her or what? Only asking 'cause DD (19 weeks) has problems with resettling herself if not swaddled. Okay through night until about 5am but daytime sleeps see me reswaddling/giving dummy when she wakes.
Any help gratefully received

Oh so glad you have TMHO, they are really lovely and stretch a lttle so i think it is like the restricted movement that the baby would feel in the womb.

I put her down in a summer grobag (1 tog) and tucked her in tightly with a thin cotton sheet. When she woke up and cried I left her to settle herself - went in and checked every 5mins, then 10mins, then 20mins. The first night was a disaster (v little sleep) but she gradually learned to settle herself. By day 3 she was settling in about 20mins and after a week we had cracked it and she slept - like a baby! She still cries out at the lunchtime sleep (I can time the 45mins from when I put her down!) but she manages to settle in around 5 mins.

Have realised nothing with babies comes easy but worth persevering! I felt like the most horrible mummy in the world not going in and giving her a cuddle but in the long term I felt it was important she was able to settle herself and not rely on a swaddle, a dummy (or a mummy!)

Good luck!

Thanks - will give it a go.