I am a mother of 3 ages 12, 9, and 17mo. My problem is with my mother. My husband and I do not get along with her at all. The problem is she is a very controlling person. My father died when I was 10.It was three of us for a while so my mother centered her whole life around her two children. The issue is that she is still doing that even though I have been married for 13 years. My mother is very close to my children. Which is just fine. She just seems to always try to tell me what to do with them. Like I am stupid about raising children. I have always been dependent on my mom for things in life. Especially financially. I know this was wrong but I have always been that way. I have started to end the financial issue. My husband and her do not get along because he feels I always put her feelings first in any of our life decisions. I can never make any decision without talking to her first. I have always told my husband that I dont want my mom to get upset with me. If an idea that my husband had did not go well with my mom then I would forget about it. I want to put my husband first but my mom always attacks me with a guilt trip. The main problem I am having right now is that my husband and I are thinking about moving to Virgina in about a year or so. He will be graduating and will have a better opportunity closer up north. We live in TN now. I was so afraid to tell my mother because she would be asterical not to mention mad. I never dreamed I would want to put some distance between me and my mother but I just feel the need to at this time. In the past two weeks we have been in two major arguments over the move. My mother is always saying after all Ive done for you guys you guys just stab me in the back. She always says infront of my children that all we want to do is tear them away from there grandparents. This really puts them in the middle especially when she is always asking them if they want to move away. I know family is the most important thing in a persons life but I dont want it to stop us from doing something with our lives. I know she cant bear the thought of my family leaving and I know she will say anything to talk us out of it. I just want to make a mature decision in my life on my own with my husband. I just feel very very guilty about moving away. Like Im ditching my mother for a job. I dont want to live my life on what my mom wants or thinks is right for me. I want to listen to her opinions but I want to feel I can decide for myself. Can anyone give me some advice? My family is really being torn apart. Thanks.