Biting

[PureTree]

Hello all,

I wonder if any Mummies could give me some tips.

DS2 is 19 months old and a happy placid cherubic looking child. Recently he has started biting. It has become so bad I now dread areas where there are a lot of children such as parks and soft play. Usually within 30 minutes of playing he will find a child his own size, approach them, chase them and then hit or bite them. I was shocked the first time he did this but now I feel upset. I do tell him off and try to get him to say sorry through non verbal communication. I usually apologise to the parent too.

A few days ago he grabbed a child so violently the parent quickly ushered their child away, I felt sad for my DS2. DS1 never did any of this and while they both engage in boisterous play with each other, DS2 ends up biting (and laughing).

Any tips?

Ds went through a bitey phase around that age. Fortunately for us it was just myself, dh and dd who he bit, not strangers though. I really feel for you on that score; I was terrified he'd start biting other children.

We just made it clear to him that it was completely unacceptable and always put him on the step/in the corner for a minute when it happened, then made him apologise with a hug. After a while he started immediately hugging after a bite, so we knew that he knew it was wrong. He just seemed to get carried away when excited or frustrated when angry, and clamp his teeth into someone.

After a few months he grew out of it, thank god. I think being able to express himself better helped, so as his talking developed he could 'argue' with his sister instead of resorting to biting.

From talking to parents of other biters, it seems to often be a second child thing.

I hope your ds grows out of it soon. It's very stressful!

Is he biting out of frustration/aggression or just for the sake of it? My son went through a stage where he'd push other toddlers for no reason. I made it much worse by making a drama out of it; forcing an apology, dragging the whole thing out etc. when I stopped paying attention, (not totally I just picked him up, moved him away and said "we don't push") it stopped quite quickly.

If its an issue of frustration I would acknowledge his feelings ( eg "you're upset because you want the car" or whatever) then show him an alternative more appropriate way to handle it ("that boy has the car now but we'll make sure we get it next, and we can play with the train while we wait").

Thank you MomofABeast, that's very useful.

He hasn't done it for a while but then yesterday I saw him edging towards a child during pick up time for DS1 in the school playground. I could see a bite was coming so I swooped him up and distracted him. He usually selects children about the same height as him that tend to be timid or reserved. He will play with them and then if he doesn't get his own way or gets carried away he will grab with both hands and bite anywhere usually stomach area. It is very upsetting because I feel like I'm to blame. I feel very bad for the other child and his or her parents and I feel upset for my DS2 as well.

I will continue with the tips I have been given.

Ds1 was a biter. Drew blood at nursery. The best tactic for us was to make it impossible for him to bite by moving him or us out the way as soon as he did the biting face. If he did manage to get us we totally ignored. No shouting. Nothing at all. It must have looked like we were ignoring it, and might have grown out of it naturally eventually anyway. I guess the whole phase lasted about 3 months, maybe less.