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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Separation anxiety?????

14 replies

Ouisie · 05/04/2004 17:18

Hi - this is my first time on mumsnet and I can't believe I have never found it before! What do you make of this? My DD is now 71/2 months and has bounced between not sleeping in the day and sleeping all night and sleeping well in the day and then waking all night. Now we have a situation where we are doing CC at night but are having no luck getting her in the cot for a daytime nap. I have to go for a walk with her in the sling so she will catnap and not get way overtired. As well she is incredibly grizzly all day unless I'm actually sitting playing with her. She will get hysterical if I go off and do something but settles when I come back. As you can guess, nothing gets done and I'm going crazy!! Help...

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FairyMum · 06/04/2004 07:29

No advise I'm afraid, but lots of sympathy. I had the same situation with DS who never had a daytime nap in his cot in his life....I always walked around with him in the pram or carried him around. Very tiring as you don't get a break at all during the day. I hope someone's got some good advise. I need it myself for my next one!

jodiemay · 06/04/2004 07:41

I had the same problem with ds, it seemed to coincide with starting teething, has dd got teeth coming? Could be a bit of calgel works wonders and enables you to get some stuff done! Worked for me!

prettycandles · 06/04/2004 11:54

Tough time, but it does pass! When trying to teach my two to go to sleep (and STAY asleep) in their cots, I made sure that before I did any cc, I set up a routine for a month or so beforehand. The routines for bedtime and naptime weren't necessarily the same, but incorporated the same elements, like dimming the room, saying that it's time to sleep now, etc. Byt the time we got to the cc, they knew the sleep-cues.

You could also try addressing the naps one at a time. I imagine that at her age she probably needs two good naps, so how about doing one in the buggy or sling, and one in the cot? Once she's got the idea for the cot nap, then you could try doing both naps in the cot.

You could also try introducing a cuddly. My ds bcame attached to a bear, and it's been an absolute lifesaver. On the other hand, dd hasn't become attached toa nything except me, and I've been trying in vain to get her attached to a bear or muslin or ANYTHING. There have been times when she'd go down for a nap for anyone other than me, I suppose she didn't want to leave me for a single moment, nto even to shut her eyes.

Original poster

Ouisie · 06/04/2004 19:34

Thanks for all the suggestions - yes, she is teething and also has this rash which has been there for about 3 weeks. What do you think about CC for daytime naps - I've read that it doesn't work as well as for night time?

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JeniN · 06/04/2004 20:12

My dd is a good sleeper/napper, but at 7 months has also started to be really clingy - cries whenever I go out of the room, luckily she's well settled into her nursery where she goes 3 days a week, so that;'s not a problem there. Hope you get the sleeping sorted.

Evita · 06/04/2004 20:30

Ouisie, we had this problem with dd's daytime naps, it took a long while before she eventually went down in the cot. Does your dd go to bed awake in the evenings? My dd was breastfed and for a long time went to bed at night after having fallen asleep on my breast. When this changed and she started going to bed at night awake we found she was then able to do the same in the day. I used to have to walk her in the pram for her 2 naps a day, sometimes 1.5 hours each. If I stopped moving she'd wake instantly. I was KNACKERED. So it was a real relief to change that pattern, it happened when she was 8-9 months I think.

As to the clinginess we never had that so can't comment there. Dd's more clingy now than ever before, she's 18 months, and it's a bit of a shock!

Original poster

Ouisie · 06/04/2004 21:18

Evita, she does go down awake in the evenings. I too was breastfeeding just before bed and she would fall asleep in my arms so we changed her nighttime ritual around so she has her b'feed before her bath. Latest development was that she went down without demur last night and then slept thru til seven!!!!!! But then I didn't get to do an arvo walk with her today (too rainy) and so I think she was overtired and it took 45 mins to get her down

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Codswallop · 06/04/2004 21:20

agree about cuddly

ds3 like those shaggy furry things like from Marks and spencer,

also set 5 minutes on your kitchen timer when you know she is tired and stick to it no matter how she screams. It is longer than you think!

Codswallop · 06/04/2004 21:21

one sheep!

Original poster

Ouisie · 06/04/2004 21:38

Codswallop, that sheep is sooo adorable - I''ll have to get her one! Tell me about how long 5 mins is at 3am....

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toddlerbob · 06/04/2004 21:40

Hi Ouisie and welcome to mumsnet. I played the "bye bye" game with ds constantly at about this age. I would go out of the room cheerfully and purposefully waving and saying "byebye" and then I would immediately come in and make a big show out of noticing he was there. I would then stretch out the time I would go for, but always come straight back if he got upset. After a while he only got upset if I forgot to say bye bye. We have used it successfully for finishing things he isn't ready to stop - like "bye bye water" at the end of the bath "bye bye spoon" "bye bye drum" etc.

He handles things ending really well, but it's hard work being that consistent when at the start he still got upset. Then it just clicked that I was coming back. The trick is to be confident about leaving and do it cheerfully, not slink off and hope he won't notice.

Original poster

Ouisie · 06/04/2004 21:42

Nice idea

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prettycandles · 06/04/2004 22:40

Oh toddlerbob, I had forgotten that! Yes, I too played it with ds a lot and I'm sure it helped him to understand that I would be coming back when I said Bye-Bye.

Evita · 07/04/2004 12:45

toddlerbob, we do loads of that bye-bye stuff. It helps in tons of situations, even when she wants something in the supermarket. She points frantically at a toy dog and I say 'what a nice doggy, say bye bye' and move on quick and she waves happily and off we go! I can imagine her wising up to it sometime soon though!

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