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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

That's it, Playdates are now banned in my house, never again, and if I'm feeling weak I will resurrect this thread!

75 replies

sandyballs · 20/09/2006 13:11

My DD's (5.5) had two school friends round for tea yesterday. They were only here for two hours and during that time the four of them managed to get every single toy, game, bead, piece of lego, etc etc out and smother their bedroom floor and the lounge floor with it all. I've no problem with normal mess but this was ridiculous. They didn't even seem to play with anything, just go from one thing to another. Then when I was on the 'phone I discovered that they had emptied their wardrobes of ALL their clothes, put them into suitcases and were having a pretend "holiday" in the garden with it all.

It took me over 2 hours to get the house straight again. Surely this isn't normal. My two blamed the friends, the friends blamed my two

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Twiglett · 20/09/2006 13:58

why does your house resemble a skip?

why aren't children putting the toys away before they leave?

why aren't children in their own rooms / garden and still putting away toys before they leave

set rules

kids who don't follow the rules don't come back

Original poster

sandyballs · 20/09/2006 14:02

I'm obviously doing it all wrong. Maybe I'll try again in a few years when I've recovered from this one.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 20/09/2006 14:03

you're not doing it 'wrong' .. you just care too much

and did you get any adult company at all .. and did you get to open a bottle of wine?

moondog · 20/09/2006 14:04

Wine at 5:00 pm???

You live faaaaast lady!

Bozza · 20/09/2006 14:05

I make the children play upstairs in DS's room which is a large room. They are also allowed to play in DD's room if she is OK with this. They can do colouring or other activities in the kitchen or play in the garden.

I have rules about tidying up etc. And they do get excitable but are much more contained at 5 than they were a couple of years ago at 3. I had a delightful little boy round on Monday. He praised everything I cooked, comforted DD when she fell off the slide and was generally nice to have around. He can come back.

Original poster

sandyballs · 20/09/2006 14:06

Well their mum did turn up to get them early (thank God!), and I invited her in for a coffee. When I suggested a glass of wine instead (because boy did I need it), she looked slightly horrified as though I was some kind of raving alcoholic.
We're just not going to click, I know it already .

OP posts:

Twiglett · 20/09/2006 14:07

In reception I tended to concentrate on those children who's parents I liked .. its not about the children .. its all about ME

me I tell ya .. me

everything's about me

Bozza · 20/09/2006 14:15

I only do wine on a Friday when the playdate is with my friend's kids.

Thomcat · 20/09/2006 14:17

Sorry - but LOL at the pretend holiday game. Bless!

Bozza · 20/09/2006 14:18

You see I already had the mums sussed out 5 years ago at Mums and Toddlers. They had to send their kids to the same school as mine. My friend also managed to produce a DD who will be in the same school year as my DD.

On Mondays I let DS choose (within reason) and get on with the cleaning.

Original poster

sandyballs · 20/09/2006 14:22

And you should have seen the amount they all ate . I made a huge sausage casserole (about 25 sausages in it), and a massive saucepan full of mash, thinking if would do for me and DH when the girls were in bed, and even a bit of leftover for freezing - they ate the lot, they all had 2nds and 3rds. Nice to see kids eat but blimey.

OP posts:

cardy · 20/09/2006 14:36

agree, they have to help clear up before they go home.

What annoys me is when mums come with their dd/ds under 4s the children all play and make a mess (which I don't mind so much) but then the mums don't help clear up or even offer to help.

cardy · 20/09/2006 14:39

did the mum seee the state of your house? didn't she tell dd to help tidy up?

CJinSussex · 20/09/2006 14:40

Sandy - sounds like they had a fab time - if they'd cleared up before going home it would have been perfection. We keep nearly all our toys in plastic storage boxes and I only leave 2 or 3 out when we have friends over to minimise the damage.

If they go upstairs I growl at them a lot and they usually behave (except the little shit that hurled all the big heavy dinosaurs down the stairs at me and he's never coming back [demon emoticon]).

Bozza · 20/09/2006 14:41

sandyballs I think eating well is a plus TBH. I hate having children who are a pain to feed.

Original poster

sandyballs · 20/09/2006 14:51

I was thinking of sorting out their toys into plastic storage boxes, I think a trip to Ikea is needed. Their stuff is just too accessible at the moment.

Cardy - their mum did see the state of the house but she hasn't been here before so maybe she thinks we just live like that . She just kind of picked through the mess looking for her kids' socks and shoes with a disdainful look on her face.

OP posts:

alicerose · 20/09/2006 14:53

i am more like Twiglett because i like other children in the house. the secret is to be ahead of the game. i control what and where they play.

Frequently I'd have my 5 year old daughter's friends help me dust. the game was called the queen is coming. We all get dusters and they'd help me dust everything low down to the ground. We some times put on funny clothes and sang funny songs. But 5 year old girls like to help. the game usually ended with someone playing 'queen' and every one having imaginary cups of tea.

cardy · 20/09/2006 15:09

wish I had an imagination like that - alicerose. My dds always want me to play 'pretend' games with them, in a sureal sense. I can never think of anything to suggest.

cardy · 20/09/2006 15:09

wish I had an imagination like that - alicerose. My dds always want me to play 'pretend' games with them, in a sureal sense. I can never think of anything to suggest.

chipmonkey · 20/09/2006 16:13

Don't like the sound of the Mum at all, sandyballs! Maybe her poor kids act up in your house cos they're caged up in hers!

dreamteamgirl · 20/09/2006 16:22

But does anyone else feel like they are ALWAYS hosting?

We have moved to a brand new road, and there are lots of young kids. 3 or 4 of the young girls have taken a real liking to my DS who is just 19 months and want to come in and play with him all the time.
Its great cos they keep him entertained so much better than I do, but it gets expensive providing snacks and juice to them all, plus I feel I am babysitting all of their kids with out it being reciprocated.... Shouldnt moan I guess its good social interaction for DS....

dreamteamgirl · 20/09/2006 16:23

Should have mentioned I spose, these girls are 5-8 years old

theshrimp · 20/09/2006 17:21

I have had children round to play with Ds and it is always the girls that empty everything out, not the boys. I wonder why?

CalifornifamousFanjo · 20/09/2006 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiglett · 20/09/2006 19:41

is that you frau

DS's room is spotless .. 3 x 5 year old boys went and cleaned it for 20 mins before they left

it is possible

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