Helping a sensitive 4yo deal with change

[FruitBasedDrinkForALady]

DD was 4 in June and she is a wonderful, kind, generous little girl with a temper you don't ever want to see. She is very sensitive to moods and emotions around her. She is in day care, montessori class. Since she's the youngest in her class, she's one of only four (approx 15 in the class) who will not be going to big school next month. Some of the children, all moving on, have been in the same class as her since she started at 7 months old, including her best friend. The other children are all obviously very excited about starting school and their techers are helping them prepare for heading off, so there is a lot of chatter about it in the classroom. We're also talking to her about it at home, about how she's starting a new montessori room, how she'll still see her friends at after school, etc, but the night screaming has started . It happened last year when there was a run of change in her class (moved from play school into montessori, one teacher left, her whole class group swapped classroom, then another teacher went on mat leave, all in the space of 4 months) and it took about 2 months for her to stop waking once or twice a night, hysterically crying. Coupled with her recurring interest in death, I'm getting a bit fraught too at this stage.

Other than talking to her during the day and calming/soothing her when she wakes at night, is there anything anyone can suggest?

*teachers

I would tone down the talking about school. It sounds like the nursery have overdone it a bit. My ds's preschool (Montessori incidently) kept this kind of talk calm.
I wouldn't be talking about it at home unless she raises it.

I would not make a big deal of it. Yes she will lose friends but trust me at the age of 4 it is worse for the parents than for her. She will make new friends - I felt similar about my 4 year old and he did take a bit of time to settle but he's forgotten most of his older friends who left (it took a few months).

Let her tell you how she's feeling, label her feelings for her but do not say things about how sad it is etc - let her tell you. If she doesn't say that, then don't project on to her.
She will take her cue from you. If you're calm and taking it in your stride she will too.

About 10-15% of children are 'highly sensitive' and are more affected by transitions, loss, emotions etc than the other 85-90%. Have a look on amazon for books on highly sensitive children (HSCs). (Not the same as sensory problems so be careful not to mix up) eg Parenting the highly sensitive child or the Highly Sensitive Child; helping our children thrive. Don't ignore your gut feeling if you believe your child is 'more sensitive' than most children. The second book I definitely recommend.

Iggly you may be right, I thought talking about it more might help but this morning, in the car, she was talking about one of her friends in her new class and when I said another friend would be there too she told me "stop talking about it Mama, I know Rachel will be there". That's me told! I think most of the talk in class is coming from the children as groups of them will be going to the same schools and understandably they are excited. They are doing summer camp at the moment and having lots of fun days out, so it's probably better to focus on that as much as possible and just respond if she brings up the school thing.

Thanks for the book suggestions adpotmama, I'll have a look. She definitely doesn't have any sensory problems; she's just like me, a bit introspective and seems to take everything in her stride, but absorbs so much around her it has to come out somewhere.