DS 3.5 yrs says cruel things when time to sleep

[Ladyopheliastar]

My ds is loving, kind and funny by day, but when it comes to bedtime, when all else fails to keep us in his room, he says mean things. He says he doesn't love us or care about us and will repeat it over and over as we reply with love. The next day he is back to normal and seems to not recall what he has done.

Has anyone else experienced this and how did you move on?

Has there been a big change recently? New sibling or house move?

When it's time to leave, leave...don't linger to give his little insults an audience!

Say your goodnights and go. If he calls out ignore. Especially when he's saying things like "i don't love you" once he sees that those things don't get you to hang about for him to "repeat over and over" he will give up.

He's 3 and testing reactions. Just keep it brief and ignore.

Thanks for the pointers. We have had no major upsets. I think he just doesn't want to go bed. Although, he is usually asleep within minutes.

I don't hang around for him to repeat nasty things, he says them whilst I'm reading his story and then I wonder should I leave or carry on?

The first time he says a mean thing walk out of the room and don't go back. Repeat each night as necessary. By taking no action you are giving him permission to continue. He may scream etc but ignore and hope that it is better the next night. You MUST explain beforehand what you are planning to do if he says unkind things. Then it is his decision.

Looking for you to react. Perhaps on one occasion you exclaimed and protested the opposite and hugged and fussed. Or perhaps he thinks that will happen. Either way he's testing you. Be matter of fact once and carry on. My DCs knew we were tactile so any opportunity for extra hugs especially to delay bedtime they grabbed it.