Toddler who doesn't sleep

[tori1807]

Ok, I have a 2 year old who has rarely slept through the night. We have a bedtime routine of shower/bath followed by a bottle of milk, bedtime story and a cuddle then sleep. He has classic fm playing all night (has done since he was a baby). He is with a nanny during the day (please no preconceptions -necessity rather than first choice). Me and his dad work all day and aren't with him as much as we would like. He is very active, but hasn't eaten a lot recently, and his sleep is going downhill, from one wake up up to five now (thankfully) back to just two. We have him napping for 1.5hours in the day, no snack to help his eat his tea and clubs every day but Thursday (where's they just aren't on) he goes to the park all the time, but we need him to get more tired out, and would like nay help or support as we are at the end of our tethers

It all sounds very exhausting. Difficult to know what to suggest, but have you noticed any times when he is better or worse, eg after certain activities or at the weekend?

You sound as if you have a very busy lifestyle. Is it possible to dial it all down a bit? For example a longer bedtime routine, starting with quiet time before dinner, load him up with protein for tea then a longish bath time (rather than shower) and something lulling before bed (eg In The Night Garden on tv) and a couple of stories? Have you tried him without the music, or on a timer so it's not on all night? Is the room dark?

Like plinth said, perhaps try a lengthier bedtime and stick to a nice relaxing bubble bath. Half the milk so he is not waking due to feeling the urge to wee. Also, dark room with no music or music on timer so it's definitely off within an hour of falling to sleep as it is most probably stimulating his mind during the lighter phases of sleep.
Let us know if any of this helps!

I had a similar situation with my son and eventually got a sleep nanny in to help- she suggested cutting his daytime nap and bringing it forwards to 1130. It definately helped and we have just reduced it again to 45 minutes. Mind you he is raising merry hell in his bedroom as we speak refusing to go to bed so maybe don't listen to my advice!!

Could he be overtired? I have a one and two year old and I know when they spend a few days with grandparents, who understandably want to fit lots in and take them out places, I will then have a couple of nights of the DC stirring at night and waking super early. I'd try a run of quiet days and if that helps.

Thanks for all your advice, we used to have him on long sleeps because we had reduced them before and he was over tired, so we've weaned him back down because he just wasn't tired enough early enough for a decent bedtime. We've tried long bubble baths but he just plays then gets hysterical when we take him out of the bath because the waters gone cold. We don't have TV after bath time, but that's because he only gets a limited amount of TV a day ( I'm really strict on what he can and can't watch). I must admit the music is on all the tine mostly because a soon as if goes off it wakes him up, but it's quite low so more of a gentle background than anything else. His room had blackout blinds, but he has a night light know as was going through a period of night terrors, not sure what started them, but the light seems to help. Problem is he always seems to be hungry, and we've tried weaning him off milk, but it doesn't seem to be working

If he's hungry could you give him a weetabix or a piece of toast before bed? Is he hot? Cold?

What time does he usually wake?

He usually wakes about ten thirty, five to three and then at ten past seven (am). We thought he was getting too hot in his room and had two fans going at one stage, but he's now down to no fans. We change the routine a little tonight. Tea with a half hour calm down followed by a hot chocolate, warm shower with daddy then a cuddle and story before bed. Tried to drag it out as long as possible, but he was getting tired and cranky so had to make it a bit shorter than hoped.

Fingers crossed for you.

Would it be useful to keep a diary, just short details of the routine and whether he slept/when he woke? Might help you to see a pattern?

Plinth - we had a diary when he was little for nappy/feeding/sleeping because me and my husband couldn't remember who had changed or fed him last and the lack of sleep in the early months was playing hell with us. But your right, the idea of seeing a pattern now appeals.

What happens when he wakes? Does he want milk/water? Is he toilet trained?

Just looking at the times he wakes, is it worth doing wake-to-sleep, ie anticipating his needs with milk, toilet or whatever before you go to bed, then setting the alarm and doing the same around 2:30am?

DD didnt agree with calpol, that used to cause her sleep problems.
Not sure i would give hot chocolate before bed, as it may have caffeine in?
But warm milk, i think bananas have stuff in them that make you sleepy.
If you are feeding at night, if you can get this down to water/nothing then there is no reward for waking. Also them they will be hungrier in day

How did you get on last night OP?

Sounds a bit like my DD, you have my sympathies.

What time is his bedtime? What time is teatime?

Is he teething? Second molars maybe?

Any tummy upset or virus that might explain the not eating/hungry all the time?

I'd change the hot choc for hot milk if you can - the sugar from the choc could be an issue.

My dd1 used to wake every 2 hours from birth to age 2 1/2.

I tried everything and was constantly trying to wear/tire her out.

Turns out I was over stimulating her. I cut out all "activities" and classes, stopped having the radio on all day, let her zone in front if the tv a bit more (3 hours a day max just cbeebies or Pixar DVDs) and she slept through from day 3.

So from trying to be super mummy doing all sensory play, running around, no tv etc, we barely get the play dough out, chill a lot more, and watch tv! Not my idea of perfect parenting, but she sleeps....

Keep a food diary to rule out intolerances. That would be my first check with the poor sleep. Also does he snore?

What is his diet like? Was he a fussy baby?

I would also suggest dialing down his routines, sounds like he has a lot of activities during the day, which might keep his brain busy at night and unable to wind down. I would also turn off the music and perhaps opt for a fan instead to get that "white noise" effect (if it gets cold in the room, have it face the wall instead of going round). Also, have you tried something like oatmeal in the evening? Always gets my DS zonk out and stay out. Yoghurt is also good. And maybe a few drops of lavender oil in his bath.

Is dropping the nap an option? My dd only slept through after dropping hers, at around 2.
Good luck!