How to teach a toddler not to interrupt a conversation?

[Iconfuseus]

Hello All,

I have a 2.5 year old boy. He is a big talker and jabbers to himself all day, when he is not talking to me.

Behaviour wise he is usually pretty good at doing what he is told and so far, with patience, we've been able to stop behaviours that we don't like. Recently we've seen evidence of terrible 2 like behaviour so he's no angel.

One thing we really can't seem to deal with is his tendency to interrupt when two adults are already talking. Whether I'm talking to my husband, to another adult or even on the phone, he always wants in on the conversation and will blabber and blabber until I acknowledge him. I tell him it's rude and to wait, but he just keeps going. I do give him a turn on the phone to speak to his Grandparents and so on, so it's not like he misses out altogether or is ignored generally.

I don't really know what to do now as nothing I do seems to be helping.

Has anyone got any ideas?

We are still working on this and DD1 is 4!

We have asked her to say excuse me before she says anything else, which has sort of worked....she says excuse me then continues with whatever else she wanted to say. At least it sounds more polite now!

She HAS got better. We can say 'wait a minute' and she does.

I read a tip on here once to train your child to take your hand/hold on to you when you're talking to someone else. You then speak to your child when you can. They know that you know their turn is next.

I find that even though I make DD1 wait, I try to let her have her say as soon as possible. This can mean that a quick listen and a "wow, that's amazing" appeases her and I don't have a spoiled conversation which my child continually interrupts "excuse me...mummy...mummy...MUMMY"!

I started dating my husband when his daughter was 2.6. At that point I had not had any exposure to that age group and it frustrated me that all our conversations were so disjointed! I got used to it. I think that's just life with a 2 year old.

I saw a technique on the internet. We asked our sons to come up and put their hand on our arm if they want to tell us something. We then put our hand on top of theirs as an acknowledgement to show we know they want to speak. We then finish what we are saying or finish listening to the other person and then ask them what they want. It has worked really well for us.

I think that is toddlers for you. DD's nursery gets them to hold an object when it is their turn to talk. But I prefer to just live with it.

I read the same tip as Jimmy about the child putting their hand on the adult's wrist when they want to say something.
I've introduced it with my 6yo and it works a treat. When I turn my attention to her, I make sure it is undivided.
I'm not sure whether it would work with a 2yo, but worth try?

I think you might be expecting a bit too much from a 2.5 year old. My DS1 is nearly 4 and we're still working on this. The hand touching thing sounds great - will have to try it with him - but I wouldn't expect a 2.5 yo to grasp the concept fully. Yes, gently nudge him towards the behaviour you want, but don't expect him to get it for a few years yet.

I'm going to try that hand-on-arm thing with my 6.4yo!

You can't

They have no idea that you have any thoughts or priorities other than what they consider important ie: them .

I think for/ five years old hyoid can start "shhh mummy's talking" andater they will learn to wSkt .

But before that ?no way

Errmmm I think you are making a rod for your own back if you even attempt to stop this now. Far too early really.

I have two dc, one 11 and one 2 and even the eldest one needs reminding not to interrupt constantly at times.

I think with toddlers you need to learn the art of multi tasking conversation -

Dh - blah blah blah blah
Me - blah blah blah blah
Ds - mama mama
Me - oh yes ds that's lovely
Me to dh - blah blah blah blah blah
Dh - yes ds that's great
Dh to me - blah blah blah blah blah

And so on.

And yes... its hard work :)

I'd be concerned that a child might use the arm touch thing on other adults, nursery staff and teachers. I'd really hate to be touched like that by someone else's child.

Have a pocket full of toffees and hand them out. It will buy you the 10 mins you need to have your chat.

Why Pico? It is a child. Not a nasty animal.

2 year olds just do that. You teach them the art of conversation by modelling. Continuously!

I'm not keen on having my personal space invaded, obviously 2 yo do that, but if it continues as a taught behaviour it becomes odd and uncomfortable. I've taught 11 yo who do that and wanted to shout 'don't touch me'.

Fine, teach them the art of conversation by modelling, but the art of conversation doesn't include touching people to be given your turn.

I agree with pico, I really don't like children who come up and touch me, or start tapping me when they want to say something. Tbh I would prefer the interrupting, but that is just my personal preference.

I would just ignore or distract at this stage, or just say 'in a minute dc' and then stop to listen after a minute. When they are older it would be much more easier to teach then the skills of waiting/conversing.

Hmm. Pico and Sunny I see your point.

We've only been doing this for a couple of weeks and I was hoping that the next natural stage would be DD learning to patiently wait until she could see that I was free to speak.

I think I'll go over the 'rules' again and emphasise that this is a system that she can use with me, as a way of practicing her conversation flow skills. And that it isn't the way to get the attention of other people.

I don't think it's ever too early to try and teach kids to wait their turn to speak/point/interrupt adults in a polite way.

It's going to be more difficult at a younger age obviously, but personally I'd prefer that at the start to having to deal with rude kids.