Ds seems to have a problem with anything that may draw attention to himself in certain situations, mainly;
Being asked to say hello, bye, sorry, please or thank you. This is worse with strangers but he also hates doing it with family members. He will say all these things to me and dh so I know he can. Asking him to say these things when out and about can result in a tantrum and/or crying while he hides behind me. Can be awkward when the nice person in a shop says something nice to him etc.
Being asked to join in e.g. Singing or dancing - nothing can encourage him to do it in a group and I have to sing with him if we do it at home - no solos allowed. He even screamed and cried when we sang happy birthday to him.
Refusing to/an inability to say things in a scripted manner - for example we were playing a game like "what's the time Mr Wolf?" But it took him two days before he worked up the courage to actually say "what's the time Mr Wolf?" And even then it was whispered, to me, when we were alone.
I've previously spoken to his class teachers about my concerns but they weren't worried and said he has started to come out of his shell at school. I suppose what has prompted me asking this time is that we went to a children's entertainer today and he hated it. I knew he wouldn't want to participate but thought he might enjoy watching - how wrong I was! He hated the singing and dancing, even when I said he didn't have to he still didn't like the other children doing it. He wanted to be given sweets and balloons like the other children who joined in, he wouldn't join in at all - even if all that was asked is that they sit with legs and arms crossed.
So really I'm just wondering if this is normal shyness? He is 4 now and has always been like this. I was the world's least shy child and would talk to anyone about anything at the same age so I have nothing to compare it too!