7yr old dd the only one I cannot parent - other 3 fine HELP

[Sanity]

What do you do about a child who will not share, will not help, will not eat, will not do homework...threatens to leave home to the orphan village! or jump out the window and go to Devon - I may make light but I do not know how to handle her - should I go for parenting classes, what should I do...my other 3 are fine, do as they are told and try with everything I ask of them, even the 15month old twins.....I am at the end of my tether and do NOT know what to do...

Sanity. No bright ideas, but just wanted you to know I have one just like that too.

However, she is approaching 10 and while we still come from different planets, she and I, we have much more understanding between us.
Did try parenting classes but they didnt teach us anything we didnt already know.

Still sometimes do sticker charts for her. She chooses the rewards (small like choosing tea for all of us etc but means a lot to her).
Much sympathy.

Has it been a bad day?

p.s Maybe she is desperate for your attention ?

I have the odd special day with my dd, just us 2.
We even get on then!

Thank you upanaway - yes I do think she is after attention...I also believe she has lower self esteem than dd2, we have had a relatively good day today as we have started a new regime....starting with her losing a lot of her 'fashion' clothes (very concerned that she looks right) and her bratz dolls have gone, and her pens and pencils out of her room...this is due to her bad behaviour over the weekend and our belief that she is tired all the time. (She stays up playing with the said goodies above!)

I have also started her on fish oils today...I will try everything....she feels special taking these as no-one else takes them, they are just for her....

We have started earlier bedtimes for all of them which means we can tell stories....they have been up so late, its the last thing you want to do...

Finally we have instigated a timetable, just simple things like snack time, reading time, me time, but both dd like this....heres hoping!!

Well done you!
The timetable does seem to give them a bit of stability and promises they can hold you to.

They then behave better as they dont want to lose/forfeit that special time with you.
I learned that if they dont have that special time in the first place then they figure they have nothing to lose so what the hell!

Hope all goes well for you.

Thank you upandaway, so far so good, peace and harmony are winning the battle at the moment...we still have flare ups, but that happens with dh as well!!!

The timetable I have to say helps me more than anything, keeps my mind focused on the children rather than chores etc. cos when they are quiet at is very easy to take no notice of them and get on with something else....instead of sitting with them and telling them how good they are....

My husband is amazed - when he comes in at 7.30pm the house is peaceful and four children are in bed asleep!!!!

I've got one like that too, I think he was meant to be an only child but got assigned to the wrong family