straw poll - what out of school activities do your kids do?

[thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat]

Just interested to know what's normal - would half like my dd to do gynastics but half thing it would be too much. Also interested as to how many people do stuff at the weekend. So 3 qs - how old are they? what do they do? when?
dd1 (6):
Tuesday - piano
Wednesday - art club (at school - her choice)
Thursday - French club (again, at school and again, her choice)
Friday - swimming (non-negotiable - until she can confidently swim a length or so)

Sorry Mercy forgot to add, all the clubs that my children do, all finish quite early.

The latest to end is cubs at 8pm.

We have loads of time together.

When they get home from school, dinner is ready most days, so we get to chat while they eat.

Then while my partner washes up, i'll start on the homework and reading with them.

Baths are every other night, and sometimes we read stories while they relax in the bath.

I also let them have story cd before bed if they want one.

All clubs are by choice and they'll NEVER be told they have to go.

If they're too tired or basically bored of going, then it ends.

None of them miss out on anything.

The latest thing dd does ends at 5.30pm.

I have (unfortunately) had to refuse her requests to do gym and to go to what she calls the "stay at school for longer club" on Mondays too.

She begged to join Stagecoach since she was 3, we refused until she was 4.

She doesn't do swimming lessons as school does it in the summer term but I agree wit the others it should be compulsory (my parents take her swimming most Saturdays anyway)

Pushy parents and schools(imo) are the ones who are the ones who do not value extra curricular activites becasue of SATS and other irrelevant tests. Children can get so much out of an activity, confidence, creativity, excersise.

dd is just 7, she does Karate on Wed, 6-7
extra maths (her request) Fri, 3.45-4.15

They've jsut started swimming at school during sch hours. Soon to start music lessons during sch hours.

hmmm. My kids do 2 and 3 activities a week, which includes weekends. I must admit, even tho I'm a SAHM I couldn't manage any more. The other days when they don't have activities, they might have a friend round (once a week or every two weeks), they play with each other (very important) or just chill out, or do homework.

You guys who have an activity every day after school, not criticizing, your choice, but I don't know how you fit in everything else!

I read somewhere that kids who do loads of different activities, from art stuff to musical to sport, are being built up for failure, as there's no way they can be good at everything.

Again, not a criticism - just remembered that article, who knows if it's right or wrong.

Gosh, some of your dc's do loads!! I wish I had their energy!!

LGJ - my ds did golf for a while too, and we are in surrey

here goes my list:

ds (7)
Monday - Art (after school club, only for 7 weeks)
Tuesday - Beavers
Friday - Swimming

He has had a go at golf (did one term then gave up but now wants to go back to it) and he has had a taster drum lesson but is too small to reach all of the drumkit.

dd (3.9)
Friday - Swimming
Saturday - Ballet (or running around in a tutu...)

dds 3 and 5 - 5yo, swimming lessons and both do ballet, not that you'd notice by the way they thunder around upsatirs like baby elephants....

DS, 5, does French club straight after school on a Monday, at a friend's house, 'Activities club' at school on Thursday until 4.30, and has a guitar lesson at the w/e or a w/d eve.

It feels SO busy / overloaded but he really enjoys all of them, and I would really like him to learn to swim, too.

I feel massively guilty now...

Yes, because you children are generally so unfulfilled and BORED and just not flourishing or developing, are they, MI?
Here is the ground, put your feet just there....

MI, I don't feel remotely guilty that mine don't do anything and neither should you. Fine if someone wants their child/ren to do all this stuff but if we don't/can't/haven't got around to it sfw? It wasn't a good parent indicator last time I looked

MI I'm quite sure it won't affect how your children will develop in any way. A lot of these kids who do piano, judo, art etc will not be doing it in a couple of years. Some obviously will carry it on and become quite talented but the majority won't.

My ds does karate and when he started, the teacher guy said that in his karate club there's something like 1,500 kids and maybe about 10 will show promise and even less will go on to actually achieve dizzy heights.

I'd leave all this stuff til they are actually old enough to say 'mum can I have a go at xyz'.

No guilt. Us mums feel guilty about enough stuff without having to worry about our kids being piano illiterate

Gosh I wouldn't feel guilty either. I don't think any of this stuff is necessary, except swimming which, for me, is compulsory - they have to go because it's an important life skill (luckily they are real water babies adn love it anyway).

Looking at ds1's list (he's 5.5):

Monday - karate 6-7 - this is a pain time wise but a friend and I alternate taking our ds's. It's a free 5 week course so that's why he is doing it but he may not carry on - it's up to him

Wednesday - football at school 3.30-5pm - may get rid of this one because I think it's quite long at the end of a school day tbh and it means getting back quite late for doing tea etc

Thursday - french at school 3.30-4pm - well it's only 30 mins so no big deal and since I was crap at languages and it's something I think is quite important - better to start at an early age. When the letter came round I asked ds if he wanted to do it - he'd had a taster lesson in school time and he said 'yes'. If he'd said 'no' I wouldn't have made him do it.

Sat - swimming - only half an hour lesson and just way too important to compromise on imo.

Sun - will probably do football sun am rather than the wed one. He enjoys it as most of his friends go so it's a social thing as well as valuable exercise.

If at any point he said he didn't want to do something I'd stop - he did gymnastics for a while but he stopped going as soon as he said he wasn't enjoying it.

Bit of a touchy subject here at the moment.

Ds1 (12)
Football training (could be any weekday night)
Badmington - Wed night
School football trials - Thurs night
Goalkeeping training - Sat morning
Football Match - Sunday afternoon

Ds2 (7)
School Football - Tues night
Swimming - Wed night
Football training - Wed night after swimming
Football Match - Sunday morning.

Now ds1 wants to do badmington on a Saturday afternoon as well. I am apparently 'selfish' as I would like sometime to potter about/go shopping. It will be on from 2-4 so cuts right into the afternoon and is in a different town so he would need lifts. I am still learning to drive so it all falls to dh

My kids have always enjoyed activities right from aged 2 (tumbletots, music club, mini movers etc) up to my eldest who is 14 (ballet, tap, trampolining, St John's). I have always encouraged them to try anything they fancy if 1) they are physically able to get there, either me or another mum, and 2) we can afford it.
Sometimes they don't like it so they pack it in. No probs. If they are unsure at any time I expect them to finish the term that I have paid for before stopping.
During KS2 is the time when there seems to be so much to do and I like them to try things out. How else do they decide if you they like something?
dd3 at the moment :
Mon - afterschool chess
5.30 brownies
Tue - afterschool orchestra
5.30 trampolining
Wed - afterschool choir
Thu - clarinet lesson in school
afterschool drama
Fri - 4.00 tap
Sat - 10.00 drama
Sun - 10.00 football
This doesn't include her lunchtime clubs.

Maybe this is too much, it's just I haven't really thought about it before. I just give in for a quiet life.

guilt - for doing too much or too little is not the way to go. I also think, without wishing to state the obvious that every child is different and every home is different and there are simply no rules about this. There can be kids who do upteen activities but get no stimulation or enjoyment from them and there can be kids who do none and get all the enjoyment and stimulation they need from other stuff, MI. scotchick - I'm not sure I agree with the setting themselves up for failure thing. I think it depends on your attitude. I agree that if the kids do 5 activities and you expect them to be top of the class in all of them and never give any of them up, then yes, that's bonkers, they'll hate them all and probably won't do well at any of them. But if your attitude is just suck it and see - let them test the waters and see what they enjoy, I don;t think that's setting themselves up for failure. You're giving them the chance to find out what they like. And if they end up enjoying everything, then there's really nothing wrong with that - even if they aren't all that good at any of them. Between about 5 and 8 I did piano, gymnastics, ballet, tap and modern dance, brownies and horse-riding. By the time I was 8 I knew that it was the dancing and gym that I really liked and was pretty good at, so I stuck with them (until the arrival in my life of make-up and boys) and got tons of pleasure from them. I do think my mum got it right, by letting me try different things and giving me the choice as to what I carried on doing.

dd 4 tumble tots wedsday
Friday pm swimming
saturday am tennis

ds 3 tumbletots wednesday
Friday pm swimming
am looking for a football class for him. also want to try to get him into tennis lessons - he really wants to go gets upset that dd1 can go an he cant.

dd2 tumbletots mon
wednesday jabberjacks

have tried not schedule too many activities as want them to have some time for family, friends and just 'getting bored'. They dont do anything they dont like, dd1 is upset at the moment because she wants to do some ballet but the class that I want to take her to is on a wednesday at the same time as her tumbletots and she doesnt want to give up tumbletots to got to ballet but she still wants to do the ballet. I could do find another class but that out weights the benefits - It would mean driving and also be a weekend activity. dont want the whole weekend taken up with activities that stop then having quality time with dh who works away.

the numbers are their ages btw

Mine do quite a bit, all at their instigation (except swimming), but without it impinging on their daily lives too much. There's no school on Friday afternoons here, so that's when ds does swimming and dd does ballet/jazz/tap, and they still have several hours for playing after school. They do choir on Saturday mornings, and dd now plays football before choir. Ds has violin and piano but in both cases the teacher comes to the house and it's 30 minutes after tea. It is a lot IMO but they do also have loads of mucking about time.

DS1 (5) has tried after school art club and saturday morning drama. Both of which he did enjoy, but didn't want to return to.

DS2 (3) just about to start football, he is very keen.

ds(6)fulltime school-
monday-homework club,organised by the school but after school hours.He is usually there 1hr(its on for 2 but the can stay as long as they want)he finishes his weeks homework there(except reading/spelling)His and my choice.
wednesday-judo.1hr long lesson.His choice
Saturday-swimming 30mins.My choice
He wants to do football but I think 2 after school activities is enough

dd1(4)fulltime school-
Monday-ballet.1hour long.Her choice(and mine,pushed her slightly into that direction)
thursday-gymnastics.1hour long.Her choice
Saturday-swimming.30mins.My choice

dd2 (2.5) preschool 3mornings a week.
tues a.m-tumble tots.45mins long.My choice.
thurs p.m-music class.50mins long.My choice.
Saturday-swimming.30mins.My choice

DD1: 5 and a half.

Nothing, nowt, nada.

DD2: Nearly 4

The same.

I vaguely feel that I ought to be embarrassed, but strangely I'm not. Actually, I lie. DD2 is going to start a ballet class on Monday because she begged and begged to do so.

DD1 (4 and a bit - i've lost count!)
most nights after school club because I work!
Thurs French club for half an hour (new so might not like it!)
Sat Ballet and Swimming

DD2 (2 in Oct - where did the time go?)
Sat Swimming
Would like to do more with her but can't due to work!

DS (5.5) just signed up to French club .. after school .. his choice... first session next week

Does football sat mornings

rest of the time he plays

I refuse to do more than one after school session a week and that's only starting this term .. so even though he wants to do art club he'll have to wait till next term and give up french

he's a child .. he needs to play and be bored

I still think he does too much

ie next week
monday playdate here
tues french club
weds playdate here
thurs playdate at friends
fri playdate at friends
sat football

eek

dd1 - 4 years - ballet on sat, boys brigade on thur, sunday school.

dd2 - 3 years - gymnastics on wed, sunday school.

i also have both their names down for rainbows when they turn 5.