Is my baby playing me?????

[Taler]

I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt but she's making it so hard!!!

She is sleeping soooooooo badly at the mo!!!!!

And she's gotten into the habit of pooing when you put her down, which she never used to do. Does she really know at 9 months that poo = being picked up and changed?

I feel there has been no consistency whatsoever with her sleeps, especially her night time one!

What does "going through the night" mean? She hasn't had a feed for months but she inevitably wakes for what seems no apparent reason pretty much every night!

It's driving me bonkers

Her diet is pretty good (I think) although past few days she's not been overly interested in her solids and today has had quite a lot less milk at each feed, which I'm putting down to her being a bit snuffly.

My DH does share it all with me. I'm going to bed now in the spare room and, if it's another tough night like I had last night, then he'll 'hand over' at 4am! That will at least hopefully give me 5.5 hours.

I have been told by various people that you can't 'spoil' them at this age and that at 18 they won't need settling! That's a hundred years away! 6 months is a hundred years away! Unfortunately we are pretty much on our own and rarely ever have help! Sleep deprivation is the worst thing and going through even 1 more night feels impossible, never mind many more!

If I were you and wasn't getting a lot of sleep, I'd bring her cot into your bedroom, let her sleep next to your bed, if she wakes up she'll know you're there, pat her tummy and she might go off to sleep.

That's what I did with dd2 when i was desperate and she slept through the night from the second night. It saved my sanity!

Sleep deprivation is horrible, there is a reason why it is used as a form of torture. It's particularly tough if you are back at work full time.

It can be the worst part of parenting, trying to handle lack of sleep. But, although it seems a long way away, it will get better. A 12 month old is a completely different thing to a 9 month old, and a 15 month old is different again.

I really do think that there aren't any options other than to comfort if she needs it. Someone will no doubt suggest controlled crying, but personally I don't think it's worth it in the long term.

Keep splitting the night wakings between you and your other half, at least you will be maximising your sleep between you.

Have you tried a dose of calpol or baby nurofen if your baby is waking up 90 mins after going to bed at night? When my DS is teething he is very unsettled in the hours after bedtime (I think his teeth hurt more when he is lying down).

A dose of nurofen always sends him off to sleep!

9mo is likely to be prime teething time IMHO...worth a try?

My DH doesn't have a problem giving meds when needed but doesn't want to if there is maybe nothing wrong. I know where he's coming from but it's not always easy to know for sure

Easy answer: try some medicine! If baby goes off to sleep afterwards she was probably in pain! If not, don't do it again.
Simples.
If you are at the end of your tether it's got to be worth a try.

What other kind of reason is your DH looking for other than a baby which is crying and won't settle? In my house this usually means teething and has done since about 6mo...

For goodness sake, please pick her up when she cries. Maybe she is teething, having growing pains, separation anxiety, whatever.

She's a baby, they go through phases. Sleep will never be the same I'm afraid. Some babies are better some worse, most sleep through by the age of 3/4. That's tough but how it is.

I hope your op was only half serious as of course babies are not able to poo on cue to avoid bed time. However, maybe she feels stressed at bed time which could lead her to poo?

I do sympathise with sleep deprivation, have bee through it myself but no in answer t your question, your baby is not playing you

Also, have you tried co-sleeping? Some fussy and restless babies do sleep better this way.

I do pick her up! All the time!

And re her pooing, it does feel like she 'plays' us as she never used to do this and now does. I accept she is maybe too young to learn how to manipulate and also a knowledge the sleep regression as being the biggest reason of all.

BotBoticcelli - did Nurofen last night and she slept. Again tonight and so far so good. Great! Although can't continue to do so every night?!?

You know, she actually can't control her bowel movements at this age. It just isn't possible for her to be doing it deliberately. That doesn't happen until at least 18 months plus (normally), which is when you can start to toilet train.

It is just a coincidence, some combination of factors that is causing the pooing at a certain time/situation. Try not to read more into it than there is.

When my son was cutting his 4 top front teeth last year, at 8mo, he cried so much at bedtime and nap time that we ended up giving him nurofen almost every day for about 2 weeks! We never gave it as a matter of course: we always tried cuddles, sshhhhhing, rubbing his back, giving dummy: all things which normally worked . When they didn't work we gave the drugs as a last resort and it worked. Once the. 4 teeth cut through (all at once! Ouch!) he went back to going off to sleep with a dummy and a back rub again.

Obviously I am not recommending making nurofen part of your regular bedtime routine (before I get flamed!) but if it works on the nights she is really het up then it's probably teething. You will probably find in a couple of nights you don't needn't cos she goes off to sleep just fine. And then you will notice a tooth!