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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Acceptable/effective reaction to your child biting you?

13 replies

Pruni · 16/09/2006 11:21

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Tommy · 16/09/2006 11:27

I used to get down at their level, hold their arms and say NO BITING 2 or 2 times very firmly.
I think it worked - certainly was the best thing for us at the time anyway. I really didn't want to bite them back as I thought that was competely counter productive

Saturn74 · 16/09/2006 11:31

I agree with Tommy, especially in that the 'biting back' method is counter-productive. I found shouting 'ouch' very loudly helped too as it emphasised that it had hurt me (besides which it bloomin' hurt as well!)

Socci · 16/09/2006 11:33

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Socci · 16/09/2006 11:35

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Saturn74 · 16/09/2006 11:39

The shouting "ouch" worked for us because it showed DS that there was a negative result to his actions ie: Mummy was hurt. He bit out of frustration at not being able to communicate well, rather than out of aggression, or because he just wanted his own way. He only bit a couple of times, and this method worked for us. Walking away from him wouldn't have worked in our case, as he needed help to explain why he was so frustrated.

kitbit · 16/09/2006 12:56

Have an ongoing biting toddler issue myself....! He doesn't do it at home any more, or when playing with friends, only at nursery ARGH. At home I would immediately lift him and remove him from playing and take him out into another room, stand him on his feet holding his hands, look very stern and in best firm voice say very simply "you may not bite, biting hurts" then walk away. I don't make him stay there as he's too small to understand why, but the removal for him is enough because he hates having to stop fun stuff, and hates being left by himself like that. He seems to have got the message. He's allowed to come back into the room as soon as he's ready and when he does I talk to him very gently, not scarily but still seriously, to reinforce "no biting", then tell him I love him and give him a hug. He gives me a kiss and we carry on playing.
This seems to have worked at home but nursery are not having as much success However he is getting better and it happens less often.

I posted here about it (can't find the thread as am too thick to know how to search for a past thread, sorry! ) and many many people said not to bite back, with some really good convincing reasoning. I think as long as the concequence is something they don't like, and is immediate, the message will get through. My ds is 1.10 but hasn´t many words yet so post-explanations don´t really help. Maybe if your ds is more able to have a conversation you can talk about it out of the heat of the moment?

Good luck! I am at least grateful that ds does it out of frustration rather than premeditated revenge which I think would be harder to get rid of.

kitbit · 16/09/2006 12:59

meant also to say, I'm not sure whether this is relevant as it's only happened the once, but I have kept a note of an idea posted by one mumsnetter which is that if he persists and nothing else is working, a complete overreaction might do the trick. Apparently she threw herself to the floor screaming when bitten by her dc and the shock was enough (obviously immediately followed by lots of cuddles and reassurance so as not to traumatise!!) to make it not something they wanted to see again. I've kept this idea in reserve just in case, but thankfully I haven't had to go to the 'last resort' position yet!

Original poster

Pruni · 16/09/2006 17:29

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Pruni · 16/09/2006 17:32

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PanicPants · 16/09/2006 17:34

The last resort made me smile, like the woman on the tv add.

When ds was biting we said NO quite sharply, but not loudly, and put him down and walked away from him out of the room for a minute.

He's 1 but I now can't remember the last time he bit me, so it must of worked.

WideWebWitch · 16/09/2006 17:35

Immediate swift action, outside in the corridor with a very firm but calm 'no biting, you go outside' and then allowed back in 2 mins later. Repeated if it happens again. Works for us (dd is 2.9 too)

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Pruni · 16/09/2006 17:37

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madame · 13/07/2007 10:40

My dd 22 months has started to bite, she has only done it to herself and one of her friends a few times. She tends to do it either when she is really frustrated or when she appears to be having a nice time and out of some kind of excitement. When she does it to her friend she runs off and laughs.

I have told her off firmly and told her we don't bite and then checked on her friend but she is repeating the behaviour. She isn't biting hard but that's not the point. I know lots of children go through this but I wondered if anyone has any tips on handling it.

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