I have two boys - a 4 year old and 5 month old. ds1 was very excited when ds2 arrived and seemed to cope with all the changes really well. He's always been a bit over enthusiastic with his hugs and kisses for ds2 but I just assumed that was normal 4 year old behaviour. He tends to hug him but too tightly and for too long, so that we have to ask him to stop. But recently there have been several episodes of him deliberately hurting ds2. He has bitten his fingers twice. He hit him over the head with a puzzle box. A few days ago he bit him on the stomach leaving teeth marks. Today I left them briefly to prepare a bottle. I heard ds2 crying and when I went back found ds1 slapping him on the stomach. ds2 was in his bouncy chair so I think it had started with ds1 wanting to rock the chair for him. But he was hitting ds2 quite hard and taking no notice of his crying. He jumped away from him as soon as he saw me. I don't know how to manage this. I'm really getting worried about it. ds2 says sorry but seems to think these incidents are funny. We respond with time out and/or removal of treats. After today's incident he had time out and is not allowed any computer time this evening. He doesn't seem particularly remorseful, but was briefly upset at losing his time on the computer.
I'm worried that it's stemming from jealousy. I'm a sahm and try and spend 1:1 time with ds2 when ds1 is asleep. On the weekends he spends a lot of time with his dad - he likes helping him in the garden etc.
Is this just a phase or are we not managing it well? I get very cross with him which I don't think is unreasonable but it must feel to him sometimes that everything revolves around ds2.
Any advice gratefully received!