Help 22month old will not stay in bed

[Nicki999]

We put our DD in her a proper bed in her new room 3 weeks ago due to our DS needing her cot as he is so big (only 7 weeks old). She has her tea at 6 then a bath at 7 and sits downstairs with cup of milk 7.30 till 8 very nicely. When she gets put to bed sit and read a story but as soon as we leave she comes out of her room and cries, this is happening 20 times in an hour until I snap and shout then she cries and falls asleep so exhausted which breaks my heart. Any ideas for putting her back to bed that she will take notice of without shouting!!!

Hi Nicki, Super nanny would recomend you keep putting her back very calmly...first time explaining that you must go to bed, secound time saying back to bed, third not saying anything....juust keep walking her back and don't give anything..no drinks,cuddles, shouting...its allworking for her otherwise...even shouting is getting the attention.

Now I have to tell you the way I dealt with it was totally different....with a small baby you can't keep going back and forth...7 weeks old, bet you haven't had much sleep etc....I introduced a stair gate on my dd bedroom door...she could scream, shout...but couldn't get out, so it was tough love for about a week and then she stayed in her bed...obviously all bathroom visits were attended to! It meant that I didn't 'Lose' it with her, and I was able to feed my young baby dd2!

oooh Nicki, just noticed...new room/new bed...might be a bit different the advice i would give....bless, new baby moved out of old bed and old room...I think she just feels insecure a little bit...is there any way she could sleep in her cot bed in her new room for a few weeks, with her new bed in there as well...?

Hi, I had this at the same age last year. Another Mumsnetter prescribed fairy lights with a timer switch. When the lights go out it is sleep time and don't get up in the morning until the lights come on. It took a while to sink in but it's fab! Every morning I hear shrieks of "yahey, my fairies awake"
Now I can even get away with changing them to a bit later and she still stays in her room until they come on (2.8) !
Good luck

I still go with the Supernanny/Sanity advice of putting her back to bed firstly by taking her hand and saying 'come on sweetheart, back to bed', the second time just 'back to bed' and the rest of the time just taking her hand and putting her back to bed without saying anything. Controlled crying is heartbreaking but it has to be done, and it only takes a few nights until it starts to sink in that you haven't left her and that you're just downstairs or across the landing or in the bathroom or whatever.

Even if it takes you putting her back to bed 60 times in an hour, perservere with it as it won't take long to work.

Sanity, there is no going back to using the cot unfortunately. Will try the supernanny thing tonight but the baby will be kept downstairs until all screams have subsided! Ginmummy, Will go upstairs with my mind set to it taking 2 hours and see how it goes...hopefully by monday she will be better and get the message. Sometimes I think she comes out of her room just to check i am there as when I have gone downstairs she tends to go back to bed (still crying). Will keep the fairy lights idea on hold but very good!

Recently DS has started asking me to stay in his room after he's finished his bottle, which I'm happy to do for about 10 minutes after his bedtime story but I can't do it all night, so the last couple of nights after his bedtime story I've said I'm going to the toilet. DS knows that he can't argue with me needing the toilet and there's an extractor fan that automatically turns on when the light's on so he can hear I'm in there (or at least when the light's on), so maybe try telling your dd that you're going for a wee (or a poo if you want to chance not going into her room for a bit longer).

DS is 3 next month by the way.

Good luck Nicki..will be thinking of you....as soon as you get angy, upset, etc she will know she has you on the run.....

OK very pleased with friday night. Put DD to bed after story and said goodnight, she got up straight away and I told her to go to sleep gave another kiss and left.second time just said "go to bed" and then stayed on the landing and silently put her back to bed another 26 times! just half an hour later she was asleep. hardwork keeping silent when she thinks its a fun game. last night did the same but told her to get to bed 3 or 4 times as she kept running and sitting on her chair. Just 23 times before sleep. Need to keep baby downstairs until he is settled not to wake her up again. thanks for all ideas I shall keep this up and see how it progresses.

Sounds as though there is insecurity mixed in with all this, as a pp said, new baby plus new bed and new room, she probably feels a bit strange and possibly a bit scared. How about having a new room party? Not too late, it might make her feel more warmly to her new special space and might fix it from a positive angle instead of trying to stop an undesired behaviour instead? Maybe you could get a new toybox and she could decorate it herself and put it in her room (B&Q do cheap pine boxes, so do Ikea) and it might make her feel as though she has made her own special space herself.
Also goes without saying and I bet you're already doing lots of this, but extra cuddles at all other times obviously will help too, but that's stating the obvious!

Nicki, sounds like it is going in the right direction...I do think the idea of making the space her own is a good one....parenthood/guilthood same difference in my mind.....cover all the bases for yourself as much as DD....a happy mummy a happy dd.,...good luck and keep us updated.