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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Monsters...in the bed...or under it anyway

25 replies

hunkermunker · 15/09/2006 01:06

DS1 (2.5) looks for them each evening, it would seem hopefully. But I think he's a bit anxious about them too.

He woke DH up the other night and demanded his nappy changed and when I asked him the next day if he'd woken Daddy up, he said "yes" somewhat mournfully, as if it had been regrettable. I asked why, he said, quite matter-of-fact "Monsters in the bed".

How do I nip this in the bud? I post as someone who is still edgy about the dark - there's not a lot that could persuade me to rummage under my bed in the night

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 01:18

We have a fantastic book called "Dear Bear" by Joanna Harrison - its rather a nice book - deals with a girl who is afraid of shadows etc which she believes are created by the bear who lives under the stairs. As much as being a story about the girl and her fear it really taught me something about how to approach this sort of thing from a differents perspective and deal with issues as a parent (heaven help me for using this expression but I can't think of another) by thinking outside the box .
They start writing friendly notes from the bear - and then stop and bear writes that he has been ill. Beat invites the girl to tea (parents have bought a bear) and he has a note saying he is lonely and would like to live with her.

Sorry this is long winded but it seems such a perfect way to deal with it and i didn't want you to need to get the book to understand. Maybe you could buy a cuddly monster?

twinsetandpearls · 15/09/2006 01:20

I was also going to suggest a book, just couldn't think nof one

Original poster

hunkermunker · 15/09/2006 01:23

The book sounds very sweet - not sure DS1's old enough to understand letters from a monster - but will squirrel the idea away for future use!

I think he's got the idea from a Noddy episode where Noddy gets scared by a shadow of a branch on the wall and a "monster" under the bed - both of which have rational explanations. DS1's got very interested in shadows recently too - points them out gleefully.

Mind you, he also seems to be trying telekinesis atm too - holds his hand out over things and says "climb here!". He's an odd child...

OP posts:

MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 01:26

could you just put a cuddly monster under the bead and when he says thers a monster under the bed you or dh( if its too dark for you could get it, tell the monster off for bing scary and take it away?

I think noddy is really scary btw - sly and whatit -

MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 01:28

re telekinesis - he sounds delightful - I am the mother of a true eccentric - so I warm to that kind of thing

cinderelly · 15/09/2006 01:32

ahh, sounds cute to me as an outsider not being woken up in the middle of the night. Have you tried a night light?

threebob · 15/09/2006 02:00

Ds went through a phase of this - we also had "there is a dragon in the toilet breathing fire" - trouble was it was actually my dad sneezing whilst having a number 2.

We acted very bored about the whole thing, casually checked it out and said if the monster didn't come back he could have a chocolate in the morning (ds not the monster). Funnily enough it didn't come back and we got some sleep.

Ds does need a nightlight though - but it's handy for noctural toilet trips (when the dragon isn't there).

ghosty · 15/09/2006 05:17

LOLOL threebob ... you poor dad

In our house, Monsters really don't like Mummies ... so if a Mummy lives in the house there is no monster ...
I thought the other day that maybe that wasn't very wise because what happens if I wasn't here? But it works well for us now.

Original poster

hunkermunker · 15/09/2006 10:46

He woke up again last night, sobbing...I think the "monsters" are getting to him more than he lets on

I got into bed with him, gave him a cuddle and he told me that there were monsters in the bed again, so I told him there weren't any. Had a quick chat with him this morning too - we read "That's not my monster" because it has friendly-looking monsters with their tongues poking out and fluffy ears and things and he was fine.

He is charmingly eccentric though.

LOL at the dragon in the toilet, Threebob!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 15/09/2006 11:42

Things I've used or heard about:

Put monsters under the bed, look for them, find them and tell them very sternly to go and sleep in the garage where they belong. Put then in the garage so DS can find them there in the morning.

Put a dragon to watch underneath his bed. This worked with DS2 - it was my dragon which added to the protectiveness of it I think.

Anti monster spray - cheap deoderant, decorated can, sprayed round his bed at night to keep the monsters away. Someone else on MN suggested this recently.

ledodgyrobespierre · 15/09/2006 11:59

If you go to Tweenies Tales on the cbeebies website there's a story about the dark and shadows where you move the mouse and shine the torch on the shadows to see what they really are.

kickassangel · 15/09/2006 12:11

i had 4 months of being woken several times a night because of various things coming to 'get her' by dd. she woke up sobbing one night because she was the gruffalo. eventually she just grew out of it.
my hv was very helpful and supportive when i hit sleep deprivation overload, so may be worth asking if they have any suggestions?
mine suggested - avoid all scary books/stories, check the room & send them away before bedtime, talk about all the lovely things, people who look after the, have a teddy/balnket they take to bed, talk about only being in stories, and a star chart/rewards for if it becomes habit to get up, not because they're scared. eventually, dd grew out of being scared, but still kept getting up, and i left her to sleep on the landing one night!

Maddison · 15/09/2006 12:37

Haven't read the whole thread so sorry if it's already been mentioned...but I used to tell DS1 that monsters were frightened of mummies and daddies so therefore there are definitely no monsters in our house!!

Redlorry75 · 15/09/2006 13:36

My DD 2.11+ (okay 3 in a fortnight) loves the film Monsters Inc. And luckily for us has never been scared of the dark, unlike her mummy - like Hunkermunker I too get in to bed pretty quicly for fear of things lurking beneath - DH's fault as he's into Freddy films - but I digress. But we have got her torch's to play with in her room, as well as a night light and we got her Mike and Sulley from the film. Because she's seen the film she knows if a monster some in to her room they want to make her laugh not scare her

Pennies · 15/09/2006 13:51

You could get a spray bottle and decorate it with glitter / stickers etc, fill it with water and tell him it's anti-monster spray. Then the two of you could then spray it under the bed + poss a few squirts on the bed and you can tell him that there's no chance that any monsters can come now because they don't like the spray. That way he's involved in the process, it's comething tangible for him to do and so there's no ned for him to pull on his imagination which may be hard for him to do if he wakes at night.

aviatrix · 15/09/2006 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jabberwocky · 15/09/2006 20:18

Haven't read the whole thread, so apologize if I'm repeating anyone.

Have you labeled a spray bottle or can of air freshener as Monster Spray and gone in for a pre-emptive strike before bedtime?

Original poster

hunkermunker · 15/09/2006 23:24

The problem I see with a spray bottle is that DS1 would be seeing monsters everywhere in order to get the spray sprayed.

Tonight I tried telling him a bedtime story lying on his bed with him in the dark:

Once upon a time there was a little boy called DS1 who had a bear he loved more than anything else. Bear loved him too and they went everywhere together. One day, DS1 couldn't find Bear anywhere, so he and Mummy looked for him. They looked under the sofa, in all the drawers and on top of the wardrobe, but they couldn't find him.

So they looked under the bed and there he was. Bear had been making sure there were no monsters so that DS1 could sleep all night without getting frightened.

**
Then Bear "looked under the bed" and reported back that there were no monsters. DS1 seemed comforted by that...we'll see...

Thanks for all the ideas and the book recommendations - will see if this story works and then try other stuff if it doesn't.

(It's wrong in the middle of the night to go "Yes, there are big scary monsters under the bed and if you don't stop making a fuss, they'll eat your legs off" to a 2yo, isn't it? Not that I don't like being woken up or anything...)

OP posts:

jabberwocky · 16/09/2006 10:21

Have you heard of this book?

The Boy Under The Bed (Hardcover)
by Preston McClear (Author), Nicholas Dollak (Illustrator)

PinkTulips · 16/09/2006 10:28

i'm still petrified of the dark and 'things' under the bed

dd woke up one night recently screaming and i went up to her thinking shed just dropped her dummy. when i went in she was standing in her cot staring at a paticular spot in the hall wide eyed and terrified. she wouldn't stop staring at it and sobbing. freaked me out so much i had to call dp to come up and rescue us god help me if i were a single mom, i'd still have been there in the morning!

heifer · 17/09/2006 17:32

I tell my DD that monsters can't get in the house...

Yes, but mummy they are in the tikkabilla house..

Yes but not our house ok... they just can't get in.. they can't fit through the windows and the front door is shut...

ok..

then its ok for another few weeks....

Twiglett · 17/09/2006 17:38

teach him how to get rid of them

children are only frightened of things they don't understand

I taught DS to shout "Go away monster, go away" and he was always very happy about that

rustybear · 17/09/2006 17:58

I always told my two that monsters couldn't get in where there was a teddy bear - only realised years later that this could have backfired if teddy had been forgotten when we went away!

Mud · 17/09/2006 18:05

monsters onoy eat bad children folowed by evil cackle

edam · 17/09/2006 18:13

Twig's scheme works for me - I do an elaborate pantomime thing telling the monsters to go away because they aren't allowed in the house (ds joins in). I shoo them down the stairs. And ds seems happy with it - went through a short phrase of worrying about them but now only crops up occasionally.

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