School dilemas (am I too hard on my kids)

[messedupmum]

My DS1 is 6 years old and cannot concentrate at all he takes 15 minutes to do 4 spellings in the morning, this is quite a regular occurance and whilst I praise him and encourage him my patience is starting to run short. His class has now expanded from 17 children to 30 as they have mixed year 1 and 2 together. This is causing more problems as there is more to distract him now than there was before. I feel that his teacher does not understand him either as he is very energetic and a show off and she cannot seem to handle this .

just try to remember he would not even be at school yet in some other european countries.

In one way I know this doesn't help because he IS at school, but maybe just try to keep that fact in mind - because taking 15 mins to do spellings and being easily distracted are signs of being six!!!! You sound really supportive and I'm sure this will pay off in the end, and in the meantime, don't sweat it. Do what you and he can in the time you have then forget it.

And I know what you mean about his energy, it seems to be a well known thing that school is too restrictive for some energetic boys...does the teacher give him responsibilities/jobs that may play to his show-off side? Could you suggest things like this to the teacher?

But I think as long as he gets time out of school to do things that suit him, he'll be fine...

Thanks for your supportive words. I just feel that he is not getting enough from school. I spoke to his teacher today and expressed my concern, as it is always bought up at parent evenings. But her answer made me even madder . She told me that now that the classes have merged there are children in that class with more needs than my son (what kind of answer is that) and the onus lies with me to help him to read and write better. How does that comment make me feel! like a bad mother.

So you're supposed to teach your son - I thought she was his teacher? sounds like abdicated responsibility to me and I wouldn't be happy. Yes of course you will help and provide back up at home as the school and home need to work together but he is at school a lot longer than he is at home so they need to be doing the Lions share. I'd be cross. Bloomin cop out if you ask me.

Yes exactly. I dont know if you know the term "concern levels", well apparently my DS1 is on a concern level 2 which sounds frightening to me. At the beginning of year 1 he was considered for 1 to 1 teaching maybe once a week as he is easily distracted, but now I have been told that he is not a priority. I also have another friend who thinks her child needs extra tuition (as he is behind) and she has been told she will have to pay. What do I do, my DS2 has now started at this school and I am concerned. Do I take them away from their friends and put them into another school or do I leave them where they are and keep on at the teacher. Also they have just had an OFSTED inspection which was not particularly good reading, we have a meeting tonight at the school to discuss, so I think I have a few issues that need to be raised.

i would be livid at teacher's response, my DD1 is in the private sector for the sole reason i do not htink that mixed year groups work and all our local schools do this. also agree with other poster who said about energetic children needing to let off steam . This is not just boys, my dd1 last teacher commented how dd needed lots of physical activity to then be able to sit and concentrate , so they structured her day to enable this to happen but she was in a class of 6 so easier. I htink your LO sounds like a very normal 6 year old boy who probably would rahter be kicking a football then reading ! but the school should be working wiht that not abandon not giving up ( which it sounds like hte teacher is) i would want to talk to the head and then if not satisfactory go to the goveners .

oops should read not abandonning their responsibilities or giving up...sorry think faster than i can type hence typos galore.

In a similar situation my parents moved my sister to another school. She had done well in her Y1 class but then they merged the Y1 and Y2 classes and in the first term and a half of Y2 she made literally no progress and this wasn't seen as a priority by the school.

Fortunately my mother was a teacher and moved my sister to the school where she taught, so transport wasn't a problem. She came on in leaps and bounds there (and incidentally turned out to be quite strongly dyslexic).

Not sure what you should do, though personally I would not be happy with the mixed Y1 and Y2 class. Are there other good schools nearby that would have space for him?

Thanks mummydoc, I think that will be my next step to go and see the head. I have wondered whether DS2 has behaviour problems because the teacher comments so much on his disruptiveness, so this makes me even more anxious, I dont know if I am reading too much into this but you know us mothers take everything to heart and want to do the best for our children. My DS2 does not seem to be into sitting and playing quietly he always has to be tearing around, breaking things, the best place for him is outside on his bike which he is quite happy to do, racing around with his mates.

I have thought about transferring him to another school, but the other schools are very small and mostly up to their capacity already. I know my son is happy at his school and am torn between taking him out and making him unhappy or try and change the situation (not sure if this will happen) and leaving him where he is. My DS2 has started school too so am stressing even more, cannot take one out without the other. What a dilema.

we moved dd1 this year to new school, mainly because old school closed ( numbers too small) so started into yr 2 at new school - she is fine , really enjoying , no problems making friends etc. new school very outdoorsy so loads of opportunities to burn of energy. interestingly dd2 also very similar can't sit , fidgets constantly , can peddle a bike with stabalisers and is only just 2 , constantly climbing wriggling etc, dd1 wsa hte same, i figure i just have very active kids and at least they will never obese! , some days htough i do wish they would just sit infront of the tv for an hour! sounds like your dss are very similar, good luck with the head.

Hi to mummydoc thanks for the input. Interesting news, have just returned from a school meeting and the head resigned quite unexpectantly in frot of all governors, staff and parents and no-one had a clue (what a gasp that created). what a night. So now no head!!!! I had a chat with one of the governors whos child is in my class and told her my concerns and she is going, guns blazing to the deputy head asap, she was appalled, so am feeling much happier now. Will re-evaluate if nothing gets done, but am now hoping the s* will hit the fan.

wooooo! Big stuff!

I have to say it did worry me, the teacher basically saying "there are other kids who have more claim on my time than your ds" - that's outrageous. Your ds has the right to have his needs met as well! More power to you - good luck, hope things improve there....

they say a fish stinks from the head

gosh - makes a change i bet from normal PTA type meetings ! glad some action is happeniing and who knows a new head might be just the thing, keep us posted ...

my dd struggled at that age the school gave her 1 to 1 reading and i did my best to do her spellings with her everyday which was quite hard with a very tired 5/6 year old at 6pm every night (as that was when i got in from work) this is partly the reason i became a childminder so that i can be at home and help her more, i realised she needs me more now than she did when she was little (i admit this was drastic and i did it because it suited me and my family)

now when she finds it hard to concentrate i set the timer and she has to do them all by the time it runs out, start off with a reasonable goal so that it doesnt seem impossible and then hopefully he will get quicker. hth a bit