Really bad day with ds1 and feeling sad

[LittleMilla]

He's been potty trained for almost a year now but in recent weeks he's been having more and more accidents. He tells me when it's happened "look at my shorts mummy" which makes me think he's doing it on purpose.

Today we went to shops to get a small present to celebrate 2 dry days but he then wet himself when home so present was put on fireplace until he has 2 dry days. He then went on to wet himself 3 more times and then piss on bathroom floor.

I then put a pull-up on him despite huge protestations that he's not a baby.

I work 4 days a week and so hate having days like this. DH has just helpfully said I ought to work FT as I clearly don't like having the boys.

Feeling really down and just don't know how to get ds back to where he was. He rarely had an accident for months on end.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Forgot to say he was 3 in May and ha a nearly 1 yo brother.

sorry you are having a hard time. could it be an attention thing? he wants your attention and knows this gets it.

maybe just de-escalate and ignore it - if he makes a mess, tell him to get clean clothes while you clean up the floor with minimal fuss. no rewards, no punishments, just get on with other fun things. If he has to change himself and doesn't get attention for accidents, they may just stop.

No advice I am afraid, just wanted to say that I am with you. Feeling utterly beaten by my nearly 3 year old this evening and it is shit. It is just so frustrating when you want to be enjoying the time that you have together and they make it impossible- seemingly on purpose.

Our nanny has been doing a sticker chart with him which I confess to not keeping up today.

Today certainly wasn't helped with work calls and general stress all day. However, it feels too simplistic to simply say it's an attention thing. He gets lots of love and attention.

Just feels like he's being a shit to wind me up "I really wish you wouldn't tell me off, mummy"

My youngest turned 3 at a similar time to yours.
We have just come out of a period of about 2 weeks where we went through 2, if not 3 sets of trousers a day.
Then it suddenly stopped - and he's now dry at night as well!!!
The only thing we have changed is insisting on drinking all his drink with breakfast - about 1/3 of a mug. Not sure if its linked or not.

Addicted - how did you manage it? I'm really struggling to do the whole keep calm and ignore when he wets himself for the fourth time and then wees all over the bathroom floor!

With patience when I had it, and shouty Mummy when I'd had enough.
Yes, I know the rules about not making a fuss. Its impossible sometimes.
Honestly, in the mornings, it was a reminder to use the toilet, and then dealing with any accidents as calmly as was possible given my state of mind. Time was the real solution. Sorry.

Take a deep breath and repeat this too shall pass. They all manage to get dry eventually (unless there is a medical problem). Sometimes they are concentrating on other things and leave it too late, sometimes they can have a slight bladder infection, sometimes they can be lazy and sometimes they do it for attention.

It is just a phase but seems endless when you are in it. No point telling them off as mainly it is your frustration coming out. I always had a few change of clothes with me. A quick rub down with a wet wipe and into fresh clothes. No fuss, treated it on par with washing hands before a meal etc. no fuss meant they weren't doing it for attention.

They do grow out of it and when they are older you will look back to this time fondly.

I'm a nursery worker...almost all kids go through phases like this, just do as min mooch says and don't sweat it. Definitely don't let it make you (or, more importantly, him) sad!

FWIW my own DS wasn't ready to even try potty training til he was almost 3. Just go with the flow (literally!).

Thanks all. He had one accident today with the nanny.

I'm working quite hard at the moment which adds to my own stress levels and I suppose guilt that we're not having as good a time together as I'd like.

Eurgh, fingers crossed it will pass and we can focus on having some lovely days together!

Was he totally dry before this phase?

When ds was about 4yo, he'd been dry and totally reliable for a couple of years, and suddenly on holiday he had at least one accident a night and started having them during the day.
The first couple I just thought he'd got very tired, but when we got back we took him to the Dr and he had a foreskin infection. Couple of days of cream (canisten, I think) and all was fine again. The doctor said that for a child who has been totally reliable, to then have several accidently he'd always like to check as often there's a medical issue.

Telling you after it's happened doesn't mean that it is in his control. Any more than when dd2 knocked her glass off the worktop and said "oops"-it was an accident, that after the event she realised she was trying to pile too much together to carry, before the event she didn't realise that would happen.