Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Wish I could handle things better

8 replies

mummamoo · 11/09/2006 22:40

My DS is pretty good generally. He's quite bright and asks loads of questions and forgets absolutely nothing.
I took him shopping today and for the most part he was good... apart from a tantrum on way in when he wanted to get in trolley but I had to change DD's nappy before we could start.
However, on the way out I let him go in an ice cream van 50p machine that was outside the shop. When it had finished he also had a sit in a play tractor but I didn't have any more money and it was luncthtime so I told him it was time to go. He came away from the machines as I started to walk away slowly.
Our car was parked a short distance away and he started pulling at the trolley, screaming and hollering that he wanted to get in. I couldn't control the trolley as he was pulling it and it was so full and my dd was in the baby seat.. it was a nightmare.
I explained that the car was just down here and tried to keep calm. He had got himself in such a state and wouldn't listen (don't think he could hear as zoned in on trying to get in trolley!). I ended up yanking his hands off, more than once and shouting at him to get in the car and sit in the seat. I unpacked shopping calmly and when I got in the car I was so severe with him with my words... told him that I had just given him a treat and he had been silly in wanting to get in trolley, blah blah. I also told him he made me very angry and that he was a pain in the arse (not proud of that). I just tend to over-react with my words and the way I look at him sometimes. If someone looked at me like that I'd hate them. He says sorry mummy but will do it again and again so I've told him not to bother saying sorry (I'm such a witch).
He is at the stage that he does know what's right and wrong and purposely does things at times.. he does tend to try to 'wind me up' when he is doing something he shouldn't by showing me what he's done or waving it in my face. He thinks everything is funny or a game. It makes me so mad that I do so much for him and then he misbehaves. I know that sounds pathetic and I do know I am the adult and he's the child but I can't help how I'm feeling. I basically feel like a rubbish mum and hate myself for not being able to handle things better. He goes back to nursery soon and he will make a major fuss and I start off sympathetic and then have no sympathy. I so wish I could keep calm and not loose my temper. I'm sure it would help me and my DS. Does anyone have any tips on keeping calm and not letting things get to them?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
moondog · 11/09/2006 22:45

Sounds like a standard outing with a little kid in my view.
I'm pretty tough-I'd engineer another shopping trip (without the baby) and breeze past the ride,telling him he can't go on it as he was such a horror last time.
Learning the consequences of naughty behaviour is the way I play it.

colditz · 11/09/2006 23:20

How old is he?

mummamoo · 12/09/2006 13:44

He's 3.

OP posts:
colditz · 12/09/2006 13:57

Well, when you feel like losing your rag, chant inside "He's only 3, he's only 3, some kids aren't even out of nappies yet, he cannot be reasonable, sometimes he can't behave, his motivations are so different from mine and he cannot see my point of view because he is only 3"

he does know right from wrong, but somet6imes the temptation will overcome him. 3 year old boys generally don't behave very well. When a 3 year old boy is being quiet and obedient, he is probably ill.

My ds1 is 3, he is deliberately naughty when he feels he is being ignored too much, don't know if that is the same for yours.

chipkid · 12/09/2006 14:02

my ds at this age was a nightmare. I too used to lose my rag with him and then hate myself afterwards-I had to remind myself over and over that he had no impulse control and so was not really trying to wind me up.

wrinklytum · 12/09/2006 14:08

Dear mumamoo,if its any consolation I lost my rag and shouted at ds(nearly 3) as he was faffing about at getting dressed being deliberately uncooperative and trying to push his baby sister over.I felt awful after,I try not to yell normally but dd is teething and lots of sleep deprivation.Bet you are a lovely mum.You are only human.Im sure everyone has done it at some time!!!I think the "hes only 3" mantra is good.Think ill try that next time ds is being difficult if I find myself losing it.Usually I leave the room and count to ten!!Then I usually get "Why are you counting numbers, mummy?".

mummamoo · 12/09/2006 14:11

Thanks colditz. Everything you say is true. I know this deep down but find it so hard to keep calm and to think logically when he's being a monkey.
I am going to really try to do the chanting in my head and remember your advice, especially the bit about him not being able to see my point of view 'cos he's only 3. He is wonderfully smart and was dry just after 2 so I do need to cut him a bit of slack.
Thanks - it helped writing it all down.

OP posts:
mummamoo · 12/09/2006 14:13

Wrinklytum and Chipkid - So nice too to hear I'm not the only mum to loose my rag and hate myself. x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page