Stammer or normal disfluency?

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Apologies for the long post, but I am not sure what to do about DD and what may be causing her speech difficulties and whether any intervention is necessary. My DD will be 4 next month and is trilingual (2 home languages, different school language with some use at home).

When she first started to talk around 18 months and until 2 and a half she tended to stammer, especially the final sound of a word, though it could be the first too. We were based in DH's home country then and she mostly spoke DH's language though she understood English well. We then had a month long visit to the UK and she immediately began speaking English well and stopped stammering in both languages. After a month we moved to France where she picked up French, went to school, developed friendships and spoke all three languages without a stammer. She did largely stop speaking DH's language, though DH and I use it almost exclusively with each other and would speak English at home and French with everyone else. This isn't really relevant but she has always refused to use French with me and gets very agitated if I use it, even before she was able to speak. She is happy to use it with almost anyone else.

Six weeks ago we moved back to DH's country and at the moment are still living in a small flat with PIL. PIL are monolingual and only speak DH's language. DD initially spoke English and French with everyone, but has now begun to regularly express herself in DH's language, though she still uses English with me. She has been using less French but still seems able to understand it well and speak when needed. Around the same time as her fluency increased in DH's language and she began to use it more, her stammer returned but it is very inconsistent, doesn't seem to be triggered by sudden emotional upset or tiredness. Sometimes she seems aware of it and tries to fight it but mostly she doesn't seem to notice. She usually repeats terminal phonemes rather than whole words, though this does happen too.

DD has found the move away from France very traumatic as she left behind her school and her friends and we have transport issues here so do not leave the house as much as we should. PIL are elderly and fixed in their ways and often scold her or shout at her and this is something I am largely unable to prevent. She has begun to wet herself again lots although she seems outwardly content bar a few heartbreaking comments ("My friends are all lost", trying to call my DF to tell him we are not nice, wanting to go somewhere but "not knowing how to go").

I suppose in the first instance I am trying to work out whether her speech difficulties are symptomatic of her emotional upset/home disruption or the rapid reacquisition of a language (her stammer disappeared last time at the same time she stopped using DH's language) and whether I should wait and see how things develop or seek help now. Unfortunately help both for expressing her emotions and speech therapy will not be easy to find here, especially as she is more comfortable in English than the local language. Any ideas?

Thanks sillylass, I will do that. I might be able to find someone who works in English but the accent will always be a problem and not all English phonemes will be pronounced correctly. Do you think this is a problem? I forgot to mention that she pronounces /r/ as/w/ and /j/ as /dz/ so don't want these to be cemented by a speech therapist not pronouncing /j/ and /th/ correctly, for example.

French I am less optimistic about but hopefully the school may be able to refer me to someone when she starts school in early September, though I will certainly look for help now.

Children often regress when faced with a major life event. You have seen this before and it went away which sounds to me like a natural part of her process. I would ride it out for the next 6 months and see what happens. She is still very young and I would not stress about it too much right now. Your stress will rub off on her, especially if you are noticeably on edge when she is stammering (assuming you are).

No, I am not too stressed about it because it only happens once or twice a day and like you say, I have seen it before. I am mostly just feeling guilty and frustrated at her being put in this position and all the demands which are on her at the moment.

Given that, and assuming she is not frustrated by it, it sounds like leaving it be for now may be the right thing to do.

I can completely understand your feelings about this and we have had periods of regression relating to major life stresses and changes. Hold in there and know that once life has settled down, things will return to a "new" normal.

While I agree that she may benefit from speech therapy, I am more concerned about the impact yet another new experience would have on a young child. Change is scary and a person metaphorically prodding, poking and forcing her to focus on something that she is probably highly confused about (being trilingual cannot be easy) may do more harm than good

Look, you know your child. Think big picture. Will this add to her stress? If it will, then you may have your answer.

I think you are missing point (and maybe I'm not explaining it every well) but what I am saying is that
a) this child has had considerable upheaval and has regressed due to it
b) has been thrown into a world where she is using her previously less dominant language
c) has overcame this hurdle by herself in the past and
d) may find it stressful interacting with a new person so soon after a major life change.
I am not criticising speech therapists or the work they do (my son has one) but I'm saying I don't think it is right or necessary right now. But that is my opinion and I am not basing it on any fact, just experience with the needs of a child who has had major life changes.

Thank you both for your suggestions and input.

I don't think that DD would find speech therapy in any way unsettling, she loves going to the doctors (thanks cbeebies) and going out.

My only real concern is finding a suitable therapist. I called three places today. The first wants $85 now but won't do an assessment until September because they close for the summer. The second says DD can only have therapy in the evenings because they are running a summer school or I can arrange for a "teacher" to come to the house. They also seemed confused by the difference between speech and language therapy abd occupational therapy and kept asking for a diagnosis. Which obviously was why I was calling. The third place will call me back but they said the assessment will be just me and the manager, they don't want to see DD until they begin sessions which completely defeats the point as what I am asking for is an assessment of DD's language skills. The person on the phone also didn't speak any English, which doesn't bode well.

I will keep trying but I really don't understand what is so difficult about asking for a language assessment.

Will read this thread and reply later, my ds is bilingual with a severe speech problem so I may have relevant experience.

Thanks kelda, it would be great to hear about your experiences. Feel free to PM me if you prefer not to post details.

May I ask, what country are you in?

If you look at the Living Overseas section, there may be mumsnetters who live in your country and have experience of the system for assessing child development. Have you seen a paediatrician? Do you think she has enough input in your dh's language for her to be able to learn it? Being multilingual is not usually a problem as long as there is enough input to be able to learn it. If she speaks the language with your dh and PIL, and goes to a local school, this should be enough for her to pick up the language.

Your PIL's attitude would concern me the most. Scolding and shouting at her is the last thing she needs at the moment, when there has been such a big change in her life and she is missing her friends. Have you spoken to your dh able this?

My ds is bilingual, and has always lived in Belgium. He speaks english but has only ever been assessed in flemish and all of his therapies are in flemish. I do not consider this a problem as flemish is the language of his school, and more importantly, phonetically it is a harder language to learn to speak. The SLT in flemish will naturally help his english skills.

I have never heard of multilingual assessments - out of all the professionals we have met, this has never been mentioned. I think it might be hard to find SLTs who can assess in different languages.

I didn't know that bilingualism is a risk factor for persistent stammering. The only people I know with severe stammers are all monolingual. I have known children with temporary stammers due to rapid language acquirement, and these have resolved themselves.

I am in Egypt kelta and as far as I know there are no other mumsnetters here. There is also no system for anything. . You choose a doctor, hope he or she is who he says he is and follow his system. Each doctor works differently and there is no one way they work or even a single body they are accredited by.

I think the stress factors will resolve as soon as we move to our own place, which should be soon, but unfortunately DH is backing up PIL so not much to be done.

I am hoping to find a solution for this without making DD too aware of it but I also know that starting a new school in September and using more French again could make it worse.

She definitely has enough input in DH's language, English is ok. French is the weakest input at the moment but will change when she goes back to school.

I would look at the paediatricians associated with the expat community eg. the international universities, because they are most likely to know how to refer to an english or french speaking SLT if one is necessary.

Thanks for that tip kelda. I had totally forgotten the expat community centre. Doh!

It is closed for the summer break now but when it reopens in two weeks' time I will be right there!