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Original poster

Daughter having trouble with friends

4 replies

Sleeplessworry · 12/07/2014 22:26

My daughter is having trouble with one of her friends they are both 11 and have stopped getting on they have both started their periods my daughter and this girl used to get on really well but for the last 2 months they have been falling out on and off they are supposed to be going away together in two weeks with the other girls parents they have said to me if my dd wishes not to go then that is fine with them the thing is this girl is saying my dd is being horrible to to her but my daughter says they haven't spoken as the girl is ignoring her at the mo I have since said to the parents would they like us to get the girls together and try to get them to sort their issues out but the mother just said I will get back to you they start secondry in sept and will be in the same form with two other friends but these other two friends(even though ones mum has told me this girl has bullied her) seem to just follow her so I'm worried this girl isolate my dd from the others and so she will be alone until she makes new friends

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Heyho111 · 13/07/2014 08:33

Oh girls at this age are just plain awful. Boys in most cases just get on with it. Girls however fall in and out of friendships.
Very often they make new friends in secondary school. Which is fine.
Your daughter probably needs to move on with friendships and that's healthy.
I can remember getting in a knot about trying to keep original friendships going. All it did was cause me stress. My daughter moved on I ached for her during the ups and downs but she came out fine.
I don't really know but I feel the mum is asking you not to send your daughter on hols with them.
Girls are so difficult. However the parents who try and get involved in their child's relationship end up making it worse.
I have come out the other end as my daughters 18. Believe me it lasted most of their school life in some form or other. Not constant but it kept happening. How I'm not an alcoholic I just don't know ;)
Good luck - she will be fine - you won't - but she will.

Jaffakake · 13/07/2014 08:34

Tbh I wouldn't worry too much, but be there for tea, sympathy & mummy cuddles. From my personal experience at that age it's all par for course of teenage girls growing up. I went to a new school with only 2 others from my primary, one of whom I didn't like much, bullied me later, but oddly we're still friends! Either she'll have more common ground with her old friend & become closer again, or find new friends that suit her better. She'll not be the only girl in her new class in this situation I expect.

You say they've both started periods at 11. I didn't start mine till I was 13. 11 is young to cope well with those crazy hormones running round their bodies!

Re the holiday. If it'd cost me or the other parents money I'd send her. But I'm of the very tough mum variety!

Heyho111 · 13/07/2014 08:37

Oh girls at this age are just plain awful. Boys in most cases just get on with it. Girls however fall in and out of friendships.
Very often they make new friends in secondary school. Which is fine.
Your daughter probably needs to move on with friendships and that's healthy.
I can remember getting in a knot about trying to keep original friendships going. All it did was cause me stress. My daughter moved on I ached for her during the ups and downs but she came out fine.
I don't really know but I feel the mum is asking you not to send your daughter on hols with them.
Girls are so difficult. However the parents who try and get involved in their child's relationship end up making it worse.
I have come out the other end as my daughters 18. Believe me it lasted most of their school life in some form or other. Not constant but it kept happening. How I'm not an alcoholic I just don't know ;)
Good luck - she will be fine - you won't - but she will.

Original poster
Sleeplessworry · 13/07/2014 10:31

Thankyou very much for your advice and I hope you are right I have decided it is best for my girl to not go away with them and I just hope this girls attitude will be different after the summer hols I just hate the fact that my dd is being treated this way by this girl for no reason and the fact her other friends seem to be following this girl is hearbreaking to see especialy as one of them is my dd cousin and like I said has been on the receiving end of this girls nastiness before

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