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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Frustrated or?

27 replies

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 09:15

Sometimes - in fact often in not most of the time my baby is not happy. But that's not even right because she's so smiley it's untrue a lot of the time and yet she makes noises like frustrated noises I've been thinking lately all the time. This morning she's pretty much been frustrated non stop (if that is right and she is frustrated). She ate most of her breakfast (she got fed up so wouldn't eat anymore i don't think it was that she was full) so I thought I'd have my breakfast because she should be able to wait for her milk having eaten most of her breakfast (knowing her like I do she should be able to wait for her milk til after I've had my breakfast. So that didn't take long but she was moaning pretty much all the way through. She was happy while she watched me sort out the bunnies actually so that was good. Then still moany so gave her milk which was fine but still moany after that of course. Gave her snack in case she was hungry still I don't think she was particularly hungry but that occupied her so she was happy for minutes then got frustrated in her highchair too. Then after still not happy wouldn't play.

But she acts frustrated a lot. I often can't leave her for 10 minutes without her getting frustrated she doesn't occupy herself with her toys she often rolls onto her tummy then half rolls back but gets frustrated asking her me even she can roll back I know she can. Often the only time she's happy is me picking her up (and don't say don't and she'll get used to it because often I have to leave her to eat/sort out the pets/get ready and it doesn't work she moans all the way through). Are her toys boring her? I can't afford to buy her endless toys. Is she frustrated because she can't do a lot? She can't sit or crawl yet and a lot of babies can at her age she loves standing and can't do that by herself either. I get so frustrated when it's really bad like this morning because I feel like I don't know what she wants and can't make her happy.

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Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 09:36

Maybe she's teething? Can it go on for ages? this is what I hate about babies when they're not happy sometimes you just don't know why

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NickyEds · 10/07/2014 10:37

Sorry op, how old is she?? I'm guessing around 6-8 months by the high chair and crawling info? I've just been on another thread about this What happened to my lovely baby(?) on Parenting I think. My DS is 29 weeks this weekend and was getting very moany. Lots of whining and wittering. He then learned to roll over both ways,sit up, crawl backwards, then forwards and sit up from lying down- all in a few days. He seems much happier now.
Also, his dexterity got loads better so even his old toys seemed more interesting as he could do different things with them. I was convinced I'd have to shell out on loads more!

Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 10:42

She'll be 9 months in a couple of days. Although she is getting better at sitting and also on her tummy I still think it will be a while before she's either sitting or crawling. Do you think it could be that she's getting frustrated? I don't think she eats enough either so she still wants loads of milk.

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stargirl1701 · 10/07/2014 10:46

She sounds frustrated Totally normal and it's that frustration that will be her motivation to crawl and walk.

It will pass. Hang in there!

NickyEds · 10/07/2014 11:32

I think you're right and she's frustrated. I bet it will pass when she can sit up etc. Ds is much less grumpy now but much harder work. He's mobile. He's always stayed where I've put him up to now!!! It's a scary new world. With mine he really wasn't making much progress on his tummy etc and it just seemed to click all of a sudden.
We've only been weaning a couple of weeks and the carpet definitely gets more food than DS. I read somewhere that food is for fun until you're one so I don't think it's a problem if she gets her calories from milk.
Hope she cheers up!

Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 11:36

Thanks. It makes it really hard to know what she wants as well you see like if she's hungry or tired because she's often moany anyway. I don't know.

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Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 11:43

I think I'm scared as well that's is because she's bored of her toys. We hardly have any money I can't afford to get her tons of toys.

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Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 11:46

It's like why doesn't she roll to play with her toys on the floor to occupy herself? Instead she cries. She rolls a lot so she can.

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NickyEds · 10/07/2014 11:59

You've probably tried all of these but DS loves to play with;
-my silicone pastry brushes and utensils.
-plastic bottles etc filled with rice
-his silver blanket(it's one they give people after they've run the marathon about £4 from amazon, cut up into pieces)
-material scraps (??)
-I bought loads of cheap pound land ribbon, cut it into foot long lengths and tie little bunches together.
-bubbles
-these chenille covered pipe cleaners from home bargains
-an orange and a grapefruit

How is she at napping? Maybe she is tired.

NickyEds · 10/07/2014 12:04

Oh, and my tuperware-he likes that too

Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 12:49

Thanks I will try these. I do give her utensils but same thing happens really it's like she'll play with it for a few minutes if that then get fed up it's at her side and for example if I'm doing the cats then she's not got a choice I'm not available then but she doesn't move to get it again she keeps moaning til I come.

She has played with the other things you mention at stay and play she was acting the same way yesterday at stay and play however I think I will get those things for home because it's always good to have stuff isn't it. I just don't get it. I wish they cfould speak sometimes.

She naps really good especially past couple of days and is good at night too so I can't see how she can be tired if she slept anymore she'd start waking at night etc. She was poorly at weekend and since then she's wanted her dummy more (before she'd just have her dummy when she was tired before naptimes and at naps and night) however I don't think all this moaning is because she's still poorly because she was better on Monday and I've had the moaning with her before it's not exactly new although it's started again.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/07/2014 12:55

Mine loved banging my saucepans with a wooden spoon at this age, if you can stand the noise that is!

Are there any free or cheap activities on in your area? Our library does Storytime and one of the children's centres does swimming for £2 including a snack. Is there a toy library near to you too? Have a look on MN local as they sometimes do meet ups.

Could you take her to the library and choose a couple of books each week with her. Its free and usually keeps them entertained for a bit, especially if you can feed the ducks on the way

Does she like trying to pick up things? How about putting something like raisins in a bowl and seeing if she can use her pincer grip?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/07/2014 13:02

Crossed post with you there. Playing with something for a short while is perfectly normal, so don't worry about that

At that age we didn't have many toys either but I sorted them out into 4 small lots and used to only have one lot out at a time, then while they had there afternoon nap, I would swap the toys for another lot. Mine seemed to play better if they had fewer choices.

If you think not speaking is frustrating her, could you get a book or DVD from the library on baby signing? It seemed to help with mine

You might also like the ideas from this blog

Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 13:03

She can't bang stuff yet. The only free stuff is stay and play which we love we go every week and I don't know what we'd do without it - and now they're threatening to close the centre down!! I've emailed and hope to god it doesn't happen.

We've been to storytime at library which is free but it wasn't very good it wasn't geared towards babies. We'll prob go again for something to do especially when she's older.

Books are good but it's more the entertaining herself in general which is the problem you see.

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Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 13:07

Playing for 1 minute is normal? I don't think getting fed up as easily as she is can be normal and getting fed up all the time. I do rotate her toys.

Can they still sign if they're not sitting up yet?

Thanks for the blog she's not really advanced enough for them apart from the hiding things she does like peekaboo but again that requires me.

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Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 13:08

From meeting other babies her age I think she's a bit behind in development you see, although I'm not worried I think she's just taking longer than other babies physically she's not behind mentally.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/07/2014 13:09

Mine were never much good at entertains themselves, unless it was eating or watching me (while they ate).

Have you tried making a treasure basket?

Hope your centre doesn't close down. Could you and a couple of the other mums start a campaign? Maybe do an interview with the local paper on what the centre means to you or just write a letter in about it?

Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 13:17

oh ok makes me feel a bit better I just feel like at this age she should be a bit more independent.

There is a parents' group for the centre and everyone's protesting the possible closure... don't know what will come of it

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Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 13:19

And the moaning is starting to get to me a bit I have to say

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/07/2014 13:19

Yes perhaps it is your expectation that needs rethinking

Hope you and the parents group manage to save the centre.

Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 13:21

It's just because all the other babies I've met are always happy to play by themselves even if it's just for a short while and don't moan.

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donkir · 10/07/2014 13:33

Do you have a local toy library? Exactly the same as a book library but you can borrow toys instead. Or if you have a good circle if friends with similar age children you can all do a toy swap for a few weeks.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/07/2014 13:33

They're all different though purple and while you are finding this stage hard you might find potty training a breeze or find that she is brilliant at school. Mo baby is good at everything and no family is the same so its best not to compare, although I know this can be difficult.

I was worried that my pfb couldn't crawl or pull himself up at this age, when all the other babies we knew could.

He's now a very active 10yo and loves sports. Wish I worried less and enjoyed him more

Original poster

purpleme12 · 10/07/2014 13:45

The only got library is at Surestart which has just 2 toys they said themselves it's rubbish it's because people just kept the toys instead of bringing them back apparently. Shame. They're for people older than her too.

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ReadyForDinner · 11/07/2014 11:33

If you are after toys have you had a look on gum tree or at local nearly new sales? you can often find some great stuff for next to nothing. The montessori blog someone has posted has some fab ideas too

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