toilet training a nearly 3 yr old with toddler diarrhoea (sorry TMI!)

[geekgrrl]

Hi folks,

any good ideas on this? Ds will be 3 at the end of November and is still in nappies full-time. I would like to send him to a different nursery after October half-term, but this new one will only accept children who are fully dry/clean.
I'm nervous about this, as ds does about 5-6 poos a day, usually very sloppy (sorry, TMI I know) - he's a big strapping boy and perfectly healthy and been like this forever really so I'm not worried about the poo situation itself, but I'm not sure how on earth I can potty train him.

Any clever tips or suggestions?

He's my third so I should be good at this by now - but my older two dds just pretty much trained themselves really, I feel really clueless.

anyone?

My DS1 had a fair bit of toddler diarrhoea. It doesn't change things that much, I don't think? You just have to take a pot with you, while out and about, as poos can come on quite suddenly. Oh, and be prepared for public poo accidents, because they will happen.

BTW i don't think nurseries are allowed to say they have to be dry/clean. It counts as discrimination and they law changes a few years ago and they can't do this any more.

Good luck with the training though

If just sloppy due to toddler diarrhoea then not sure why should be that different - he'll still know when he needs to go and with training be able to get there. Might take a little longer but definitely worth starting soon. If he has a set 'pattern' like going after meals etc just start sitting him on the toilet/potty and lots of praise. If he has elder sibs who use the toilet then he'll be able to relate to growing up like them I guess.

I think i'm mainly worried about it coming on very suddenly, IYWIM - you know, when you've got diarrhoea you need to go immediately anyway.

I'm also a bit rattled at the thought of ds's bowel control not being good enough for snootyprep nursery I guess.

Anyway, I've put him in pants now, potty in the lounge, fingers crossed.

If the nursery are like that then I wouldn't send my child there - can understand them liking to have the kids potty trained, but all will develop at their own pace and there's bound to be the occasional accident. Will they help him to wipe himself? Thought of a 3yr old with a less than clean bottom getting all sore...My DD is nearly three and although she is potty trained she can't reach her bottom to wipe it properly. Sorry for tmi!!

mmmh good point sally... I didn't ask - oh god, not sure I can imagine ringing snootyprep and saying 'excuse me, but will you wipe ds's bottom?'.

Maybe he'll have to stay at his current nursery and be cared for by 16 year olds. My main gripe is that the current nursery is more expensive than snootyprep's with its indoor swimming pool on-site and adventure playground and genuine teachers. Hm. Don't know what to do now.

found this which might help clarify that the child shouln't be excluded if they need toileting help. I know it is a schools document but it frequently mentions disability discrimination act, so perhaps some of this may be of help if you are worrying about accidents.

Hi
I have a 2.9 DD who also has toddler diarrhoea. Its a nightmare really. Started training 4mths ago and wees were pretty much an instant success (1 wk max.) but poo is a different matter entirely. She too could go 4/5 times a day and only 6 grapes produce an effect within 15 mins. 3 strawberries even quicker!!

So if I remove all friut except banans and restrict her veggies, whole wheat cereals and brown bread (in short her healthy diet goes out the window) then she poos normally, not sloppy and hits the loo like any normal child. If I cut out fruit only (as now I have a child that eats a healthy diet I'd quite like that to continue) then she will do it in her pants. LOVLEY!

My GP, also my best friend, tells me that this can go on 'till shes 5ish and that for her she may only get a seconds notice as it is coming out rather than the full feeling we get which tells us to use the loo.

Hard to not be cross when sat in posh cafe you have to walk behind her to loo hoping nothing falls on floor before getting to cubicle. Then you have to throw pants into a nappy bag and clean her up before putting on clean ones.

Have to say buy lots of cheap pants and throw them away. Its much better than cleaning them up'cos that can be terrible.

So advice: 1. well stick with it
2. tell nursery its a medical condition that he'll grow out of but untill then you're sure they'll show him the empathy that he deserves
3. work on ensuring he tells someone he has done it so that he doesn't get smelly (other children can be cruel)
4. try changing his diet and see what effect that has

so glad you mentioned this look what I've got off my chest

Thanks and good luck

Most of the nurseries around where I live seem to employ the same staff - some of them have moved around a fair bit between the local nurseries so not sure that you get better staff if you pay more.
DD used to go to fancy private nursery - all seemed very nice - till I called in at a random time and found that they used to have all the kids in vest and nappies during the day (so their clothes didn't get dirty) and if we were the last to pick up she'd be waiting at the front door with her coat on rather than playing happily, even if there was ages to go till closing time.
Shes now at a council run one and its fab. My sister (teacher) says that the council run nurseries are inspected more frequently by the local authority and the staff have better access to training etc. The facilities aren't as nice, but the atmosphere is a whole lot better.