Please talk to me about ASD I need help.

[SholerAndChocolate]

I'm completely ignorant about it, apologies if I use the wrong terminology, I'm not looking to offend anyone I just need help with my dd. this is going to be garbled and make little sense, by please help if you can.

When dd was 6 months old we were refered to a pead for allergy/intollerance issues. The pead mentioned then that he'd seen children like her and almost always they've ended up on the spectrum. At the time I had a thread on here about it and I was really upset, but we've plodded through and we don't see that dr any more. Infact he's not under any medical professionals at the moment.

Dd is now 2 and I know it's a difficult age because of the terrible 2'a and to top it off 9 weeks ago her baby brother was born. She's now a middle child and often says 'send him back'

So dd2's speach is coming along really well, although no one other than family can understand her. She talks in full sentences and is actually quite sociable (when her sister (3yo) is around and she copies her sister)

She has almighty tantrums, sometimes just being 'naughty' eg I don't want to pick up my cup, but other times it feels different. I live in fear of her bannana breaking or only having a broken buscuit left as that will cause a majour tantrum.

She doesn't give me an awful lot of eyecontact, but can be very affectionate. She will run and jump on me to give me a cuddle, like cuddling up when she feels sad - but often will say I feel sad but don't know why.

Things have to be done a certain way around her, we can't change plans at the last minute or do anything without telling her exactly what we will be doing, or it causes a tantrum.

There is so much more but I can't think right now. Does this sound like normal 2 year old behaviour, now written down I wonder if it is? And then I get so angry at the dr for planting the idea in my head in the first place - is this me worrying and I should get it checked out or is this because the dr told me she might be so I'm looking for it.

So I open it up to you? What do I do? I wouldn't even know where to start anyway :(

I do feel it's more than just normal 2 year ls behaviour, but then doesn't seem severe enough to be ASD

Some of the things you've described, e.g. being unable to make an impromptu visit to the park, sound plenty severe enough to me. ASD is a collect of difficulties and diagnosis is based on the overall impact those difficulties have on the chid's life.

When a child finds eye contact uncomfortable, it can be easier for them to listen to you when they are not looking at you. Trying to listen while making eye contact can be as hard as trying to listen while solving a Rubiks cube. Looking at your shoulder is a positive strategy and you need to consider supporting it.

At 18 months my DD1 passed the 18mth, 2y, 3y and 4y development check and was labelled as gifted by our HV. She missed the AS altogether.

I work with Autistic children and attended a talk by a psychologist on diagnosis. I remember her saying that diagnosis before age 3 is dangerous as it can easily be wrong. She said that typically developing 2 year olds appear a little autistic as they can be quite rigid and present with a lot of funny sensory issues and have meltdowns over the simplest things but that is normal.

From my own work, I understand a bit about sensory processing. For example just because a child is sensitive to noise doesn't mean they are autistic - they have auditory hypersensitivity or processing issues. A child with vestibular (inner ear) processing problems may not like when large groups of children are running around them as it makes them feel dizzy so they may shy away or want to leave parties which may make them look anti-social.

Sensory processing can effect so many aspects of children's interactions. All autistic children have sensory processing issues so the general public think that the symptoms of sensory processing problems are autistic symptoms. Sensory processing problems exist on their own or in combination with a host of other pediatric diagnosis (ASD ADHD Developmental Coordination Disorder etc). Also sensory processing issues are common and even normal for toddlers and pre-schoolers. What you want to see is - will she grow out of them or learn coping strategies and as she gets older if she is displaying any sensory or other symptoms do they have a functional effect on her life?

I cannot tell you if your child is on the spectrum but I want to share with you that there are other explanations for your daughters behavior - most of which sounds just normal but he way! Like her peers, her sensory systems will be developing all through the coming years and there are many quirks that are just part of normal development. There are many kids out there with sensory processing problems that are not typical amongst their peers and if so there is treatment in the form of Occupational Therapy which can help. Early intervention is great if she needs it.

The assessment process is usually very long (months or years) and involves a number of professionals who look at lots of different aspects of a child's life and functioning alongside their family and developmental histories and the parenting they receive. It is a neurodevelopmental assessment, not an Autism assessment and looks at lots of different disorders include sensory processing disorder.

If there is doubt about a diagnosis the clinicians usually advise watchful waiting where the child remains on their books and they monitor their development over a longer period to see if behaviours change as the child matures.

So, while it is true that children with sensory processing disorder can present like children with Autism, a comprehensive assessment by skille professionals should easily differentiate between the two.

The OP is being advised to ask for an assessment by posters on this thread, not a diagnosis of any neurodevelopmental disorder.